These past few days have been depressing, more than usual I guess. I accidentally erased my video logs dating back to late 2013, where I would just talk to the camera about various issues at the time. I would do this at various times between 2013-present and I lost all my video logs back then since I don’t upload those to youtube and they were together on the disk with my other youtube video files so I accidentally deleted them while organizing my files.
So I had to recollect all my memories from back then and re-iterate them again. But the most disappointing part of being in Korea so far is being rejected by Korean girls, and thats the main source of my depression. I’ve been rejected by 3 girls on the first date in the last 2 months, and thats what spurring this rant today.
I have posted several times last year about how hard it was to get a Korean girl to like me, and in my total 2 years in Korea I’ve only had 2 girls that have been my official girlfriend, for a total of only about 4 months. Out of 24 months, the other 20 months I’ve been single. I’ve been on many dates, but for some reason the girl always rejects me or loses interest after the first date. I’m not sure what I did wrong. I pay for girls, I treat them nicely, I talk to her about her interests, etc I don’t understand what I am doing wrong on the first date.
The problem is for foreigners, we don’t have that many ways to meet Korean girls. Most couples that I see on the street, those Korean couples met through blind dating, they had a friend or coworker introduce them. Because I never went to school here or work for a Korean company, I don’t have anyone to introduce me. My Korean friends’ friends all already have a boyfriend or they don’t date foreign guys (xenophobic society I know). Thus we can meet girls only through a few ways, either going to club or bar or picking up girls through “hunting”, using meetups or language exchange apps or sites, or going to church.
I don’t like to do “hunting” as my personality is totally unfit for it, and its hard to change my personality. Meeting girls at church could be my last resort, but I’m not religious in any way. Using language exchange apps or sites have been the primary way for me to meet girls so far, and out of those girls I’ve met, 70% of them text me for a few days and then eventually stop texting or responding after that. the remaining 30% that are willing to meet me, about 90% of them are only interested in language exchange. So you can imagine how difficult it is to meet a girl on these apps or sites for dating. Its not exactly very easy. And dating apps are a crapshoot as well. Most dating apps are only for Koreans (they use phone verification to ensure only Koreans can use it), Naver cafe dating sites are again, only for Koreans as they use verification. Tinder is a crapshoot since mostly foreign girls use them and the Korean girls that use that only want white men.
So what am I to do? The last couple girls I have met for dating, all rejected me after the first date, leaving me more or less pretty much guaranteed to be single for my remaining 4 months in Korea. I’ve tried as hard as I can without resorting to going to church or hunting. I know Korean girls care about appearance and cleanliness, so I’ve changed my hairstyle and clothing style, did lasik surgery to get rid of glasses, etc I speak a combination of Korean and English so that they don’t feel too lost when I speak English. I always pay for them when we go out. I don’t know what else I can do to make them interested in me… I’ve tried my best.
So far I’ve met these kind of girls:
-left me hanging on the street after I told her that appearance is important
-called the cops on me because she thought I was secretly taking video of her
-blocked me because I suggested her to go to a hookah place and she thought it was some kind of dangerous drug
-blocked me because last time we met I couldn’t find where she was fast enough
-blocked me because I took 3 days to respond to her message (I was in SF meeting my coworkers at the time)
-blocked me because I couldn’t meet her for drinking beer the exact day she asked (I was in SF at the time)
-blocked me because I said her pictures were pretty
-blocked me because I made a (mild) joke about her ex-bf and learning his language
-blocked me and went crazy swearing at me because I uploaded a video of us together on my youtube that she didn’t like
-blocked me because I wouldn’t give her money even though she wasn’t my gf
-blocked me because I didn’t “satisfy” her enough on our date even though on the date she pretended to like me a lot and I responded to it but I wasn’t “good enough”
Its like if I even did something like breathe the wrong way the girl would stop talking to me. I have no idea why I am meeting these types of girls while my friends always meets the kind of girls that are sweet and loving and want to be with them. Its like I’m cursed to forever be single or something.
Its ironic that I would have the most trouble getting a Korean girlfriend in Korea, the land of Korean girls. I want to keep trying though, since I am very devoted and loyal to them (haven’t dated a non Korean girl since 2012) and I am confident I can find the right girl, but maybe she’s not in Korea. Maybe I have to go back to USA or Canada to find her, as crazy as that sounds. I know those girls are more likely to be harder to get (more competition from American guys) and harder to find (less Koreans obviously) and probably going to go back to Korea at some point (exchange student), but what can I do? 2 years in Korea, and still nothing. I was too picky last year I know, but this year I’m not picky anymore, and I still can’t find the right girl. I am highly doubtful in the next 4 months that anything will change. I am close to giving up on finding a Korean girlfriend in Korea at this point. Its just torture seeing all these beautiful girls outside being really sweet and loving to their boyfriends, and knowing that I have no chance of getting those kind of girls to even respond to my messages let alone meet them and be in a relationship with them. Its like sitting behind the bars of a jail cell watching delicious food go past while you are hungry and starving, and unable to get those foods. Its within your reach, but you can’t get it. I’m about ready to leave Korea at this point. 4 more months of agony, out of my 20 months of total agony and I will finally go back to the USA, where I will still be lonely but the agony won’t be as painful because of the lack of Korean couples.
Some people ask me why Korean girls ? If you have so much trouble why don’t you marry a Chinese girl or Japanese girl? They don’t understand that
1) we are attracted to who we are attracted to. I can’t help who I like, why force myself to like girls who I don’t like?
2) Korean girls have the perfect combination of appearance and personality for me. Everything from their facial structure, way they dress, put on makeup, treat their boyfriend etc is perfect for me. Most Korean girls out there, care about their appearance a lot, always have good fashion and check their makeup wherever they go, are really sweet and loving to their boyfriends, nice and polite, loyal to Korean men (I’ve had several girls straight up tell me they only date Korean guys), very feminine and cute personalities, and on top of that do the cooking and cleaning and take care of children after they get married. The sad thing is Korean men don’t really appreciate those attributes, still cheat on them a lot and go for foreigner girls and have high standards for Korean girls. I don’t really understand that. Korean guys take what Korean girls do for them for granted… they don’t understand how amazing and perfect Korean girls are.
3) There’s vast differences between the 3 different races especially between Chinese and Korean girls. I’ve made a video about this before.
4) I don’t like it when people tell me this. It’s almost as if they think that Korean girls are out of my league and I should go for a “lesser” girl. Why don’t Korean guys or heck white guys get asked why they like Korean girls only?
5) I spent the last 4 years of my life focused on Korean language, culture and living in Korea. You think I would throw that all away and end up marrying a different kind of girl? That makes no sense.
But since its the last goal I really have in my life, I already have a stable job and an apartment, I need to devote all my resources to achieving this goal, and if 4 years of my life wasn’t enough (2 years studying Korean, 2 years spent in Korea), then we’ll keep going until this goal is achieved. As long as I am concerned, its either get the right Korean girlfriend who matches with me and marry her, or stay single forever. There’s no other option.