I love romantic sunsets
I love romantic sunsets

So, here’s a topic that I don’t usually like to talk about, but I think should be addressed sooner or later. My thoughts on relationships. Given that my parents expect me to be married in 7 years, I should probably think about this more often. But to me, this issue is very complicated. For a few reasons.

I’m single now, and have been that way for the past 23 years of my life. It’s not that I don’t find any girl interesting; it’s probably just bad luck. I am not a naturally outgoing, charismatic person. I am goal-oriented, academic and career-driven, and I put those above seeking relationships. It’s just always been the case, that every girl I’ve liked, has never liked me back the same way, and every girl who’s liked me, I’ve never liked back the same way.

What are my strong points and my flaws? I try to be a good person, with good intentions, and I try to be likable, though I’m aware not everyone will like me. I try my best to be honest and reliable. I’m not the most handsome guy, but I like to think I’m decent looking enough. I do have a variety of interests, and a sense of ambition. I like to think my main flaws are being too judgmental, a lack of patience, jealousy, arrogance, and shyness. However, life is quite different from movies. Merely exerting yourself, putting effort in, etc may not get a girl to like you back and may even cause them to think you’re creepy. No doubt my shyness causes me to be feel awkward at times.

But the thing that’s interesting is that, when you look around, most people will have been in a relationship, or are in one right now, even the shy ones. This astounds me; personally, I would think the chances that finding a person who you like and likes you back, and fits each others requirements, and being single / not attracted to anyone else, and is in your circle of connections (friends, family, co-workers, classmates) is like finding a needle in a haystack. Yet so many people have been in them. And some people even cheat. 

I suppose for me, I don’t want or desire a relationship because I want to fit in with my friends who are in a relationship, or think it would raise my “status” if I found a good looking woman; I think a relationship should solely be based on love. You want to be with the person because you love them, and nothing else, no ulterior motive (no green card marriages, arranged marriages, or drunken weddings). So I’m not in a rush. Here I am in a new city, with no friends or family, too shy to go out partying, and virtually no chance of me meeting anyone I would be interested in. And that’s acceptable to me, though at times I wish I had someone to travel with, confide in, etc. But friends can fulfill that role too. I’m not anxious to get married, or have children, like many people in their 20s may want. I live by myself, I can cook, do laundry, wash dishes, etc. so I can comfortably provide for myself.

Ultimately, I think I may continue to be single for a while.. That is mostly because I value the importance of being with someone who loves you for who you are, and accepts you in spite of your flaws. And I think that person, whoever she is, where ever she may be, is definitely worth waiting for.