Let’s talk about Rise of Skywalker

I just saw the movie last night with my brother, and like everyone says.. its alot to process. There’s so much happening at breakneck speed – but I still didn’t hate it as much as I hate The Last Jedi.

The reason is because most of the bad storywriting in this movie I feel is something that JJ kind of had to do because Rian (TLJ) wrote him into a corner. He killed off Snoke, he killed off Luke, gave Leia crazy force powers, gave Kylo/Rey this BS force teleportation thing (more on that later), and left JJ with little writing room out of it. Given those conditions, I felt that JJ did the best he could.

What I liked about the movie:

-The visuals are amazing

-The soundtrack as always, John Williams delivers

-Kylo Ren –  he’s been easily the most consistent and best character of the sequel trilogy

-C3PO gets great comedic relief in this film

-Luke Skywalker is actually Luke Skywalker again! Not that rambling miserable shell of a man that was in the last film!

-General Pryde – he’s Tarkin 2.0! does a great job of it

-Lando and some other cameos like Wedge are back! yay!

That said, there’s a huge number of problems with Rise of Skywalker and here it goes (spoilers obviously incoming)…

-Palpatine comes back. No explanation. He just comes back and we’re supposed to accept that

-Snoke is a cloned being… ok but …why? Why not just have Palpatine converse directly with Kylo? Why does he have to hide himself? And why have multiple Snokes?

-Apparently there were 10,000 Star destroyers (which are ALL upgraded and fully staffed!) who have been waiting years and years for Palpatine to lift them out of the water. What?

-Lightspeed skipping. How is this possible and how are TIE fighters following them? TIE fighters canonically do not even have hyperdrives (unless they are the more expensive versions like Darth Vaders TIE fighter or the TIE defender)

-They go on this chase for a Sith artifact but why is it even necessary? If Palpatine wanted Rey to come to him why not just speak to her directly? he has that ability but he has to wait for her to find those wayfinders? What?

-There’s people we are just expected to know and not introduced to. Who’s Ochi? Oh he was this assassin guy but I had to read Wiki to find that out. Who/What is this slug thing on the ship? We’re just supposed to get that he’s there now ok…

-Rey finds the dagger which points to the Sith wayfinder in a spot that Luke freaking Skywalker couldn’t find it somehow, its guarded by a worm thing. You’re telling me Luke couldn’t get past that?

-Rey is SUPER overpowered in this movie. She can heal people – yes the exact thing Anakin wanted to do to save Padme – she just learns it out of nowhere and uses it and keep people from dying. Wow. She also has ridiculous force jumps, can use force lightning (that kind of makes sense later) and can keep ships from exiting the atmosphere.

-Oh and this force teleportation thing, Rey and Kylo can just magically teleport things to each other. Gee that’s not overpowered is it?

-The Death Star II was completely vaporized. Why is there a MASSIVE wreckage on some random planet?

-Force ghosts are way more OP after TLJ. They can call down force lightning, and Luke can use the force – from beyond the grave! thats crazy! would have been helpful in many other battles for sure. Remember when all Obi-wan could do was talk to Luke?

-Leia dies from a force call with Kylo. OK I know they had limited footage of Carrie Fisher before she dies but this is still kind of weird?

-“Memory Han” uhh ok, whatever

-All the star destroyers are grounded except for a few star destroyers that Palpatine lets out to destroy a planet. What? So is there a limit? Why not just let them all out?

-Finn shacks up with a different girl each movie. First it’s Rey in TFA (he wants to tell her something in this movie but we never get to hear it), then it’s Rose in TLJ (they just completely forget that they kissed), then it’s Janna in this one. What a stud.

-Maz never explained how she got Anakin’s lightsaber in The Force Awakens

-Anakin’s lightsaber is repaired somehow – this is never explained so we just have to assume it happened offscreen

-How the heck did Lando convince the entire Galaxy to warp to this super dangerous place? Also, I wish Wedge Antilles got more than just 1 line in the scene.

-Ok so Rey kills Palpatine but that doesn’t make her a Sith like Palpatine said. So I guess she didn’t kill him in the right way? Or do the ritual?

-Also what’s with those Sith spectators? How long have they been there?

-Life force suck. Is that a new ability Palpatine has learned too? Somehow while tethered to this robotic arm? Otherwise he could have you know used it against Luke in Return of the Jedi….

-Palpatine’s force lightning is ineffective vs the Resistance (didnt destroy ANY ships) while it’s super-effective vs himself.. again.

-Hux and Kylo dies sooooo fast. And no one really cares about it after. Just they die, and next scene.

-Rey kisses Kylo before he dies. Why? I get you can hug the person who saved your life but … kiss? When was she ever attracted to him? She just hated his guts a few scenes ago!

-I still think Rey should have been the one to die and Kylo survived and went to the Skywalker ranch instead. He’s the real Skywalker. And having Rey live is just so… predictable. Rey dying and Kylo living would have been bold.

-I also think it would have been better if Rey actually got to use her own lightsaber in combat. Maybe she could have built it on Ahch-To. But cmon you give us that beautiful yellow/orange lightsaber and then the movie just ends like that? You know there’s no next movie right?