Wishing, waiting, praying…

Not much to update these days. I’m pretty depressed because of what happened at the beginning of this year. Usually I’ve been a fairly risk-neutral investor, neither too risk taking or too conservative, but this year I foolishly took out 3 loans to average down into crypto, which subsequently plummeted 90%. That’s $170k down the drain. I’ve been trying to come back since then.

This year is easily one of the worst years of my life. Aside from my financial problems which has basically sucked out all my paychecks to pay back those loans, almost all my friends have left San Francisco, my Korean gf broke up with me due to the distance, and I’m stuck here unable to visit my Korean friends or my ex-gf at all. I have to sell my apartment first. Why? Because it’s the only way to pay back my loans. If I didn’t do that, I would have to work for the next 3 years to pay back my loans. And I can’t take a vacation or quit my job either because of these stupid loans that have to be paid back. I can’t average down my crypto to even try to make some of my money back either. Basically I dug myself into a deep, deep hole, and selling my apartment is the only way out in a reasonable amount of time. If I rented it out, I would need at least $6k a month to pay back my loans + mortgage interest + HOA fees + property tax + enough remaining money to survive on. It’s unlikely I can rent out my unit for that much. So I’ve listed my apartment for $800k. I also paid $30k in renovation + parking fees to help sell it.
Some of my friends have told me that is a low price, but I’ve got to get myself out of my financial rut somehow.

On top of that, my health hasn’t been good this year and I’ve had to take anti-depressants as well just to keep myself from suiciding.

So yeah, this year has been awful. I think I only had one friend I really hung out with the entire year. Every day at work has been boring and just looking forward to the paycheck, just so I can pay back for the mistake I made back in January. Hopefully my place will sell soon, so that I can finally escape this prison…