Why do people judge who I am attracted to?

So its not a secret that I like Korean girls. I am really attracted to them, to the point where I can pick out the most attractive girls to me even while I’m traveling in Europe and other Asian countries and 99% of the time they will inevitably be Korean girls.

It might be a genetic attraction, but its also no surprise to anyone who knows me. I studied Korean really hard for 3 years back in 2012-2014 mostly because I wanted to have a chance to date Korean women. Then I moved to Korea in 2014 and lived there until 2016. Since then I’ve gone back to Korea every year for at least a few weeks at a time or more.

To me, Korean girls are the most attractive women in the world, not only by their physical beauty, but also their personality. Appearance wise, They have amazing fashion sense, always wear makeup and care about their appearance and personality wise, they are really polite and sweet and care about their boyfriends a lot. What more can you really ask for? They’re beautiful inside and out.

But it isnt easy to date them. Even when I was in Korea, and even though I speak Korean better than most foreigners, its always been difficult getting a Korean girl to like me. I’m not exactly sure of the factors, but it could be a combination of several: 1) I’m introverted and I don’t exactly approach girls very well nor am I a good conversationalist and 2) I cannot stay in Korea a long time usually only a few months at most and 3) some Koreans have very conservative parents who only want their daughters to marry Korean men.

Why not find a Korean girl abroad you may ask? Because the Korean girls abroad are mostly students, young, and will go back to Korea. Plus, most of them stick with Korean guys still (usually from the same school). It’s been difficult to meet the right Korean girl even in Vancouver. I thought I would have an easier time here since there’s more Korean girls in Vancouver than San Francisco, but no as it turns out, although theres definitely more Korean girls here, it just means that there’s more of them ignoring my messages to meet them rather than actually having a better chance of dating them.

I kind of regret breaking up with my ex, which I did for various reasons the main one being that she was not mentally stable, but I still enjoyed the times we had together and she was at least at first glance perfect for me both appearance and personality wise. She was very beautiful and slim and feminine, and also very sweet and caring to me. But unfortunately partly due to the long distance, it didnt work out between us. I still think about her a lot. Especially since I have no idea if and when I will ever find another Korean girl that will care about me the same way again.

Which brings me to my biggest annoyance about being single, the fact that people are unwilling to help me meet another Korean girl, and instead question my Korean preference. I don’t really understand why this is such a big deal to people. So here’s the gist of things: apparently a “normal” person is supposed to be attracted to many different races, but its “weird” if I’m only attracted to Korean girls. Why is it weird? I still dont understand that. Every person is different, we are all born with different preferences on who we are attracted to.

To me, being only attracted to Korean girls is a sign of loyalty, faithfulness and devotion. The fact that I know exactly what kind of girl I want is to me a good thing. There are lots of white guys on the other hand who have ‘yellow fever’ and who are attracted to a whole litany of Asian women, not knowing exactly what they want only the vague idea that the girl has to be ‘Asian’ and possess ‘exotic’ features perhaps driven by a fantasy of ‘submissiveness’ or something like that. And they fuck around all the time in Asia. But they never get criticized for having yellow fever. Or Korean men for that matter, who often fuck around with different girls mostly from SE Asia or white girls “for fun” and they get a pass from Korean women despite that. The irony right? Korean women are loyal to Korean men (who are not loyal to their race), over me (who is loyal to Korean women and Korean women only). But I am the one seen as a creep and they are the ones seen as “normal” for fucking around with all those different girls. Go figure.

Meanwhile me, who was born in northeast China in a province right next to Korea, I get questioned and criticized repeatedly because I only like Korean women. Why? Is it really that much of a shocker? I am also Asian, I like Asian women, and specifically I like Korean women because of the Confucian traditions in their country combined with having common interests due to having lived there and having studied their language before. Why is it such a crime for me to only like Korean girls and knowing what kind of girl I want?

This is especially infuriating because since I am 30 now I am looking for a girl to marry. I don’t want to play around. I know exactly what kind of girl I want to marry and that is a Korean girl. I find it laughable that other people who are not me, somehow feel the need to judge me, criticize me and suggest or recommend me other races that I should be attracted to. What the hell? They think I am weird because I’m not attracted to my own race. Why do I have to be attracted to my own race? Especially since said race (Chinese) completely abandoned their Confucian values decades ago when they became Communist, and are brainwashed by their government to boot. Why would I be attracted to people who have completely different cultural values to mine?

Korean girls from Korea (I have to note the from Korea is important, since Korean American girls have American cultural values which are not really the type of values I want to marry into) have traditional Confucian values due to their upbringing in their society. That’s the kind of values I want to instill into my family and future children. I want my future children to speak English and Korean. I don’t really care about China or Chinese at all since I have no cultural ties with that country anymore. I have confirmed this for myself several times when traveling between Korea, Japan, China, Canada and USA. Make no mistake, Korea and Korean women are the best fit for me.

I just find it incredibly frustrating that the first question people ask me when I tell them to help me find a Korean girl is not “I have some friends to introduce you, when are you free?” But “Why do you like Korean girls? Do you have some weird fetish? Why not Chinese/Japanese/Canadian/etc” we should be beyond a society where this kind of discriminatory questioning comes up. Would this kind of question be asked if I was a Korean or Korean-Canadian guy? Why does it matter to you who I like? It’s my preference. Why do you think you know more about my attractions than I myself do? It doesn’t make any sense, yet it pervades everyone I talk to, thus I cannot ask anyone to help me out for finding a Korean girlfriend, I’m mostly on my own, which sucks.

And its difficult, make no mistake. I can only go back to Korea a few months out of the year at most, and as mentioned before the Korean girls abroad are very difficult to get for me. Nevertheless, I can’t give up and I’ve said to myself before I’d rather be a lifelong bachelor than to give up on this dream and goal. I either marry a Korean girl or I’ll stay single. Thats how determined I am.