Thoughts about Dying

Well, what an interesting topic to talk about: Death. Although to many people death is just a stage of life; a means of ending
the long twilight struggle that they’ve had to deal with, to me death is something that has shaped who I am ever since I was born.

The thought of dying has never scared me: I don’t fear death; I fear growing old. I think that’s why in a way I kind of embrace death
as the logical means to escape life. It doesn’t mean I want to suicide (though I’ve thought about it in the past) but it just means that
I am prepared for it.

Death is not new to me. Friends and family I have known have died in the past. So my entire life I’ve expected my death to come at a young age.
Life is unpredictable and death could come at anytime. Your life could end suddenly by a bullet, a car accident, drowning, falling, disease, etc you have to expect the unexpected.
Maybe it’s because I live recklessly or I’m unlucky, but I’ve always thought that I would die young. I’ve almost died several times in my life (A car accident when I was 13 and alcohol poisoning when I was 17 being two prominent examples).
This thought has compelled me throughout my life to be active, to be involved, to live my life and take risks. I always think that I will be out of time soon.
Why is my work so rushed? Why do I do everything in a rushed kind of way? Why am I thinking of investing so much so early? There’s your answer.

To that end – I’ve never thought about getting married, having kids, growing to old age, saving for RRSP/Pension because I don’t think it matters.
If I die when I’m 40, then why should I save for a retirement fund? I’m not gonna live that long anyways. Nor would I want to live that long.
It never made sense to me why I should work my whole life to retire at 65 and then enjoy it, that’s a little bit too late and I wouldn’t enjoy
anything when I’m that old anyways.

But the thought of dying early also drives me – it drives me to work hard, achieve something of lasting influence, leave behind a great
legacy, meet all kinds of people, travel everywhere,
indulge in all sorts of activities (web design, art, music, investing, writing, public speaking,etc), and it encourages me to live out my destiny.
I believe that I am destined for great things – the same things that anyone would want – To be wealthy, to be handsome, to be charismatic,
to be young, to be powerful. It merely inspires me to live a more meaningful and full life before I depart this planet.

Life is not meant to be burdensome, though it often is, it’s meant to be enjoyable. You have to accomplish what you can in the short amount of time that you are given.