I knew that the relationship was too good to be true.. sure enough *exactly* 2 weeks later, we broke up.
I knew it was going to happen, I knew it was too good to be true, and how it happened would probably blow your mind. Here’s the story:
I met my ex-gf a mere 2 days before I went back to Toronto to visit my parents. The worst timing ever. Then I tried to keep a long distance relationship with her while I was with my family. I was originally scheduled to come back today, but I scheduled to come back earlier, on Dec 30 instead so that I could spend time with her on New Years Eve. She had an appointment with her friend that day but rather than cancelling that appointment, she asked if I could meet together with her and I said yes. I also tried to invite my friend to meet up with her so that we could be 4 people. My friend suddenly couldn’t make it cause he was sick that day.
So I met up with her, and then after drinking at a bar my gf asked if she and her friend could sleep over at my place. So I said yes, of course and brought them over. Then when I was looking at my phone, her friend suddenly became paranoid and asked to see the phone cause she thought I was taking weird pictures of her. I said no because I didn’t want her to see everything on my phone.
Then, she got mad and called the police. Seriously, because I wouldn’t show her my phone. Then the police came, I was forced to turn the phone over to her, and the police and her deleted all the pictures from my phone. I was so confused. Why did she do that?
Then the next day (on New Years thats right) because her friend was really mad at me, my gf broke up with me because her friend told her some lies about me and she of course believed her childhood friend instead of me cause she only knew me for 2 weeks.
It was because of her crazy friend that we broke up. Had I taken my original flight, had I met my gf by herself, had my friend not been sick and able to make it, had any of those things happened, I would still have a gf now.
Instead, I ran into the same “relationship curse” that has plagued me all my life, with none of my relationships lasting more than a few weeks for some stupid reason or another.
I think this story ranks up there with the time I booked a flight to Vancouver to have a girl stand me up last minute and the time I was walking with a girl to a restaurant last Valentines day and she suddenly got mad and walked away from me in terms of the ‘wtf why is my life like this?’ moments.
Yeah… well anyways I’m back to the usual trying to make a new gf now… seriously… why does this stuff happen to me?
Disclaimer: This story isn’t meant to be serious or well written, it’s for laughs.
Chapter 1: Zombies, Pandas & Dwarves
I ran away from the touring circus dwarf pack, which were surrounded by a disease that was tearing off their bodies.
They were like zombies ready to feast. I returned to get my shotgun, questioning why the shotgun had a bayonet, but my work was personal business. I looked at my partner, with his itchy trigger finger on his Desert Eagle. At my side, stood my right-hand man Kyle; there is nothing to worry about. As proof, he jumped on a dwarf, devastating it.
Le Guin came fast as lightning; Mugabe’s brain had split like a ripe watermelon.
Kyle was spinning himself around and shooting his gun; in his car trunk were a wide range of cold dwarf corpses. He was hovering in the air, and the minute he lowered his body, it brings with it a collection of dwarf fingers and sausages.
Japheth took a clue; a dwarf had broken through Kyle’s external defenses. He used his laser vision to ensure that he attacked the entire landscape, covering it with red juices and getting close enough to be a threat. After dozens of dwarves, jumping by leaps and bounds to end up as dwarf corpses, he was almost out of quick access to his ammunition. Fortunately, his bag is still full so he shouted to his partner: “Cover me for an instant, I have to reload”.
Kyle crashed into his legs, his hand trying to grasp the mechanism, as the stolen jacket he put on transformed his arm into a swing full of metal spikes. Avoiding Japheth, Kyle reached inside his bag, pulling out a 360 intestinal arc gun and began swinging it, ripping his arm and Al Gore. Launching it into the other dwarves, a dwarf found it caught in the air only to become hamburger meat; another suffered a stroke from being impaled from the hunting rifle bayonet. More sword wielding guns appeared; Zombie Shogun Fighters were advancing through the Eastern themed restaurants.
When he reloaded, Japheth took them by the second shot; he got himself another Desert Eagle, and an AK47. He also brought a bullet belt so that he would continue to rapid-fire, or a single shot every 5 minutes. With two guns in his hand, Japheth ducked into a package, still staying in the vicinity of the dwarves with Kyle, but they fire more from a distance than ever before. His new gun seems to do a better job than he had hoped; it was as if time slowed down, and he never missed a shot, each bullet hitting a dwarf. With new time to think, he reflected on the word “dwarf”, how each one became a dwarf, how ridiculous these guys adapted, how all the short, feisty things flew through the air with their funny rocket shoes.
Then, the dwarf leader, with his decorated top hat, looked at Kyle with hatred in his eyes, wielding a small stick. This dwarf is clearly the catalyst; the other dwarfs in the three-ring circus still need someone to direct them. Kyle stood on Japheth’s shoulders and pointed out things he thought they already knew: once a bitten zombie is not as strong or the world knows that, at the end of the day the result is a large body of blood they now bathe in. Kyle looks at the time, and sees a pygmy Meem using a rope to pull himself closer to their current position. He smiled and closed the planet’s surface with a double-rod pantomime.
Laughing at the pantomime, Japeth’s death is close, and he himself knows what needs to be done. Looking at his actions, it is clear that this chief is not the original zombie. He is at least the second, perhaps third power generation. Taking into account that, while it may stop the current tribe of zombies, it will not be simple: he does not have a state-owned rocket enterprise. Closer to his goal, Japheth fired three shots at his new threat: one straight and one to each side. The dwarves may be as impressed with these shots as they were with the first round of ammunition. Unfortunately, the bio-decision will be more annoying as any hope of excavation of their rocket shoes went away as soon as their shoes flew upwards, with no bullets holes.
At that critical moment, Kyle’s pet zombie panda Kinku jumped its gray hair and claws tearing the sky. Kyle forgot to lock its cage again, but the panda was not out of control and after shitting on all their trailers like normal, Kinku came to their rescue. Releasing from its body a loud sigh, it began to charge at a dwarf, its paws still desperately clawing the sky. Kinku sat down on the dwarf and made the dwarf ring leader its arm snack. Japheth shot the last dwarf in head, the deafening roar from Kinku still lingering from the outbreak.
Japheth began to remote start his decomposing jalopy, opening the headlights, planning to rape the female giant panda zombie Kinku because of his desire for sex. Looking at it, Japheth sees that it is part of the first power generation of zombies; the Earth had been covered with them. Although not a pygmy, this is clearly a midgetized giant panda; this does not happen naturally. Japheth began to shift into fully automatic mode. He launched into the dwarf animal and dynamited the whole head, exploding the entire parking lot, leaving a strange blue. This did not stop the zombie from continuing to charge, nor did it stop a big eye from forming on where the head once was.
Among the women Kyle has had sexual relations with, his female giant panda Kinku is among Japheth’s targets. His shoes squeaking as he traveled down the bloody road, he jumped Japheth. They all fell, colorful fun wigs, and Al Gore in their faces, next to the surrounding chaos as they rolled off the assembling line in what can be considered as a very gay moment. Then Kinku charged at them and began to rip with her ferocious female panda bites; Kyle’s response was to push into the beast’s asshole, cutting tentacles penetrating the large body of the bear with the bayonet. The bear erupted. Kyle grabbed something to wear and seeking to advertise, put on some women’s pants to send some of his new brand identity. Curiously, Kyle believed that unconsciously, he had a picture of a 76-year old lady in his heart.
Learning of what had just transpired; Japheth knew that some things would be a serious mistake, and his plot will soon be revealed. When they get paid to delete the city’s zombie dwarves, he is in fact, what had caused the disease. Kyle will soon come to know (especially since Japheth’s skin was beginning to turn more gray than normal); he passed the place where Kyle is now, and started his laser sight, pointing it directly into the Kai Doll’s eye, to ensure that he was blind, then pulled the trigger to launch 1 hollow point bullet directly into his partner’s head, killing him immediately.
A bullet tore through Kyle’s eyes to continue through the sidewalk; it broke through the back of his skull and small pieces of metal shrapnel littered the ground. Kyle fades away, wanting to see his wife and daughter. Heaven to him was not so bad; Jesus was a very bad ass dude, Kyle’s nasty beard allows him to get what he wants, but he was not fit to live with his family, until one day he runs into Angela Lansbury. They had 7 years of good times. One night she was lured to his apartment, and then she wrote: murder him.
A few years later, Japheth has been since the death of his new partner. He knows that he should not be believed, not his pantomime or his rusty wooden toothpick. Because of his evil, all have been infected with the Midget Zombie flu. God gave him some grace, so that when he accessed heaven, he quickly found Kyle’s phone number, met with him and said “Hey, right Sorry to kill you, but I found that your surgery and lessons learned dwarfed mine”.
Bingo, sent to the printer, I smell a Pulitzer Prize.
This is a story that I made up. I don’t know if it will turn into a series or anything but here goes:
In a remote corner of the universe…
Bang! An explosion tore apart the crimson sky of Lemuria. Lemuria, a unique planet with various means of technology and prosperity, had been undergoing a civil war. The planet consisted of two races: Lemurians, a telepathic people with distinct psionic energies, and Howlers, gigantic machine-like androids who had vast amounts of knowledge and weaponry. The Lemurians and the Howlers never got along, until one day when Emperor Vaska of the Lemurians was assassinated. The Lemurians declared war on the Howlers, and Lemuria had been at war ever since.
Iris, the former Empress of Lemuria, had been exiled to a remote island in the Sea of Time. The Sea of Time was a vast ocean constantly surrounded by unpredictable weather phenomenon. These phenomenons were caused by fluctuations in the space-time continuum, which seemed to occur only at the heart of Lemuria. Iris had just given birth to a baby child, a 1-year old toddler named Kai. She was desperate to send her son away, away from the time-altering conditions at the Sea of Time Islet, her prison for all eternity.
The Sea of Time Islet was located in the center of the Sea of Time, surrounded by a thousand whirlpools and a million Howler Sentinals. But Iris knew that Lemurians possessed a special gift: the ability to teleport. She knew that if she did however, her failing health would cost her life. But Kai could not grow up here. His life rested in her hands. Lemuria’s Civil war had lasted for almost 2 centuries already. Lemurians could live for several centuries, and Iris had just given birth to her only son shortly upon being captured and exiled.
Iris knew that Lemuria’s inner structure could not sustain this much damage; Lemuria was imminent to destruction. She could not let her son die…not now, not ever. But she knew of an escape pod, one that only individuals of royal heritage could use. Now was the time for action, Lemuria was about to be destroyed. Iris put her hands on her forehead and began to teleport. Moments later, she appeared in the emergency chamber of the Imperial Palace, Lemuria’s Royal headquarters. Her lifespan decreasing, Iris put her son inside the escape pod after kissing him.
“Farewell my son, Lemuria’s destiny now lies in you, the sole survivor of this tragedy.” Iris whispered.
Then she was silent. The escape pod rocketed off into space, creating a wormhole in the fabric. A few hours later, Lemuria exploded in a brilliant supernova of bright orange particles. The escape pods had selected a random planet for its occupant, but one with a similar environment, communicator, and atmosphere. That planet was planet 3 of solar system 568, galaxy 4356. The one we know as Earth. 67 parsecs later…
355 BC, Zhou Dynasty, China
The escape pod landed in the crop field of a farmer, in the area we know as China. The farmer was curious about this bizarre machinery. He was shocked to discover that inside this machine, was an infant.
For the next 3 years, He took care of the baby, nourished him, and taught him the tradition, language and culture of the Chinese. He named him Kai which meant “little dragon”. One day, followers of the Persian Empire pillaged the Chinese village, and burned their crops. They killed the farmer but intrigued by the 4-year old misty-eyed child, kidnapped him.
12 years later… 342 BC, Persepolis, capital of the Persian Empire
16-year old Kai was adventurous, quiet and intelligent. He was found and retrieved from a desolate village in China, brought up, raised and trained in Latin, among other languages. They had found his name engraved on his shoulder. He knew modern traditions, mathematics and science. Kai knew little of the past, but he was always seeking to learn new things. His caretakers trained with discipline, always forcing him to be silent, efficient and deadly. He was the perfect commander to protect Persia from the ever-expanding Macedonian empire. The Persians respected him as a legend; Kai was different from other commanders. He had pale skin, light hair, and an unearthly aura protecting him. At the first comings of spring, the Persians sent him off to gather a vast army and crush Macedonia.
Kai went off, carrying the legendary Xeon blade, a sword that was rumored to polymorph into shards and back again, at will. The Xeon blade had been passed from generation to generation; rumors had it that God had created it. Kai did not seem to notice though, riding his powerful war mammoth. After weeks of traveling, Kai finally came upon a city.
And what a city! Beautiful hanging gardens and fountains of youth surrounded the entire city. Kai, amused by this, decided to venture into the city. The inner part of the city looked like an explosion from the middle blasted it. Dying people laid about the streets, moaning and groaning. A young woman was in the middle of a city, healing a wounded boy with a staff. Kai was curious.
He approached the woman before asking. “Who did this?” Kai said.
“The army of Macedonia. Their ruthless leader was a man who called himself Draco. He’s already conquered the Assyrian army and the Chinese army and now they’ve gone through Babylonia.” The woman replied.
“Babylonia?” Kai asked.
“Yes, didn’t you know, this city is Babylon, once a great city of Mesopotamia. Now the Macedonian Empire led by Alexander the Great, plans to conquer Mesopotamia and even places as far as Rome.” She continued.
“They must be stopped. And only I can stop them” Kai stated.
“Maybe I can help you,” the woman said.
Kai smiled. “Sure, but we don’t have much time. The Macedonian army is steadily advancing its way through Mesopotamia,” he continued.
Mesopotamia was a vast region of the Middle East comprised of 5 civilizations: Persia, Macedonia, Babylonia, Assyria and Phoenicia. Macedonia had already destroyed the Assyrian Empire, leaving their civilization in shreds. They now had gone through Babylonia too, and Kai expected Phoenicia to be next; Persia’s army was still too strong for Macedonia.
“Let us journey onward, towards Phoenicia!” Kai exclaimed.
“That is a good idea, my name is Rei by the way” the woman replied.
After Rei was done her healing, the two of them journeyed to Phoenicia, riding Kai’s war mammoth. The journey to Phoenicia was not a pleasant one. Long, cold nights were spent around a bonfire. Hot, temperate days were spent drinking from nearby streams and ponds. Various creatures, including snakes and gnats, would plague them for days. Dune reapers were the worst: giant mantis-like creatures that popped out from the ground to strike at them. Kai was brave though, remembering to protect Rei at all costs. His Xeon sword would magically transform into electric shards before Kai sliced a Dune Reaper’s head. The war mammoth would continue tirelessly on their journey. After weeks of ensuing chaos, Tyre, the capital city of Phoenicia, was finally in sight.
342 BC, Tyre, capital of the Kingdom of Phoenicia
The city of Tyre was a bustling city, full of wizards, merchants and warriors. Rei marveled at the sights as she and Kai ventured throughout the metropolis. Memories of Rei’s past came back to haunt her as they rode through various streets.
Rei was born in 362 BC, in the city of Babylon, Babylonia. The eldest child, gifted with the power to heal. When she was 16 (Kai’s age), she was given a staff, which could produce healing auras as well as shielding barriers. She still carries around that staff to this day, using it whenever necessary.
She looked at Kai. Kai was a full 4 years her junior, and yet his wisdom and maturity seemed to be twice fold. He didn’t like to talk either, only when it’s necessary; his sword tends to do the talking for him.
“We must speak with the King of Phoenicia, and warn him of the dangers that are heading his way” Kai said.
“I agree” Rei replied. Rei did not tell Kai this, but the reason that she is traveling with him is to exact vengeance on the Macedonian Empire, for what they did to her family, her friends, and her city. King Latimer was not pleased at this news.
“I am very grateful that you have warned our civilization,” he said. “But I cannot guarantee any help” he continued.
“All I’m looking for are gifted individuals who think they can help me crush the Macedonian Empire. My war mammoth can hold up to 8 people and time is running out” Kai replied.
“Only 8 people? How can 8 people defeat an entire empire?” Latimer questioned.
“Believe me, 8 gifted individuals can do more than ten thousand soldiers. On rare occasions, individuals are said to be blessed by the four elements and are considered gifted. These individuals are born with unique, innate abilities, each ability is natural to them,” Kai explained. “I was born with the power of Destiny and Rei was born with the power of Healing” Kai said.
Rei nodded in agreement. The King paced across his palace floor before speaking. “I do have a certain individual that I acquired some time ago. Let me show you… Balter!” The king shouted.
A chamber beside the king’s throne rotated, revealing a long corridor. Through that corridor came the most unique character that Kai or Rei had ever seen. This individual was an average sized male, strong – with scars around his body. The uniqueness came in around his eyes. He had not one or two but three eyes. The third eye was placed directly above the forehead and emanated a superficial sense.
“His name is Balter. I had found him on one of my travels to Rome. He was only a child, apparently left to die because of his uniqueness in society. I raised him, cared for him and now he is the best archer in my disposal. I shall lend him to you for your journey, but be warned that he is a mute and has lost his talking skills a long time ago.” The king said.
A short time later, Kai and his crew thanked the king and continued on their journey.
“Where do we go now?” Rei asked.
“To face the Macedonian Army. Their forces will be here shortly, and we cannot afford to waste time” Kai said.
“With the three of us? Can we defeat them?” Rei asked.
The silent expression on Kai’s face told Rei that she had spoken enough. So the fateful crew continued on their quest to defeat the Macedonian army and their leader, Draco. Little did they know that they were being followed by a figure in a dark cloak.
342 BC, outskirts of Phoenicia
Balter did not complain about his companions Rei and Kai. Nor did he show any compassion towards them. His purpose was to assist them in their travels, and his lifelong vow was to obey. Balter was not a talkative one; in fact, he did not talk at all. He was a mute his whole life, and that life had been a confusing one. He did not remember much as a child, but he did know that he was born in Rome, Italy. At the age of 10, the elders of Rome felt that he did not belong, and threw him into the streets to die. Apparently rescued by a king, he was brought up and taught in the ways of Archery. His unique third eye had finally served a purpose: to master the skills of the bow and arrow. He was the 25-year old elite archer of the Phoenician Army, now an adventurer in the quest to destroy Macedonia.
“Wait Kai, I hear something,” Rei said cautiously.
Kai stopped and listened. The sound of approaching horses and artillery told them that danger was approaching. Within minutes, a thousand troops, including riders, soldiers and archers had appeared. The lead soldier was a tall, slender man recognizable because of his outfit, horse and moustache.
“Good afternoon” Draco said.
Kai’s face showed nothing but contempt.
“We are the Macedonian Army, and if you don’t move out of our way, we will utterly massacre you and your group.” Draco continued.
“Why don’t you leave Phoenicia alone?” Rei said.
“Because young lady, we are under the orders of Alexander the Great and he has asked for Phoenicia to be eliminated. Neither I nor any other soldier would dare to disobey him” Draco replied.
Young lady! Rei thought. The man wasn’t much older than her. Rei looked back at Kai and Balter to see their impressions about Draco.
“You are taking too much of my time already. Soldiers! Fire at will!” Draco ordered.
Kai flinched as 500 arrows flew at them. Ping! One by one the arrows all deflected off Rei’s magical barrier. Balter was surprised to see the magical aura that had appeared around them, all conjured from Rei’s staff. Draco raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t know how that was possible, but nevertheless, we will still defeat you.” “Prepare for combat” Kai shouted as the entire Macedonian army advanced towards them.
Before they could draw their weapons however, a gigantic wave of energy rushed before them, causing a giant fault line to appear. Both sides glanced at the new source of this power. Several feet away, stood a figure in a dark cloak.
“Please stop this nonsense,” He said, as he seemingly glided towards Kai and the group.
“Who are you and what is the meaning of this?” Draco asked irritably.
“My name is Proximus, but you may call me Prox” The new figure said.
“I am very sorry for this intrusion, but I have to take revenge on you and your kin for what they did to me and my culture.” Prox continued.
Draco looked confused. “Your army destroyed my culture, my civilization and all our cities. I am the only survivor of this chaos, and I am crippled. When your army burned our citizens, I survived, but my face did not” Prox explained, as he motioned towards his dark cloak that covered his head.
“And you expect me to take pity on you for what happened” Draco laughed.
“No. I expect you and your army to perish for this tragedy,” Prox said calmly.
Before Draco could reply, Prox took a sharp silver object out of his cloak and flung it at one of Draco’s soldiers. As his fellow soldiers looked on in horror, the soldier instantly disintegrated into thin air, leaving no trace. Draco was speechless.
“Leave. Before something else happens that shouldn’t happen” Prox said.
Draco eyed him suspiciously. “Come my soldiers! Phoenicia has been lucky today. We will spare it, as we have more important business to attend to.” Draco commanded, as he led his army off into the horizon.
342 BC, Mesopotamia
Prox was not surprised to see the expressions on his comrades’ faces.
“How did you do that?” Rei questioned.
Prox sighed, “Fine. I will explain everything. Listen closely”. “I was born Proximus, in the city of Nineveh in 370 BC, Assyria. As you know, Assyria is now in ruins because of Macedonia. My lifelong goal has been to take revenge on Macedonia for what they did to us and to me. Fortunately for me, I have the unique ability to produce sharp weapons from my hand, making it easier to exact my revenge”.
Kai, Rei and Balter all exchanged confused glances. Prox, recognizing the confusion, decided to demonstrate. He focused his power, producing a 3-foot long blade from his hand. The blade radiated energy before Prox sucked it back into his hand. Before any of them could respond, Prox also produced the familiar small silver knife-like object from his hand and shot it at a rock. The rock then disintegrated before their eyes.
“Quite impressive” Kai said, recovering from his shock.
“So, I guess he’s one of the gifted individuals also” Rei admitted, glancing at Kai.
“Would you like to join us in our quest?” Kai asked.
“I would like to, but I have some business to attend to first,” replied Prox. “Oh yes, I have been meaning to tell you something. I have overheard a conversation in Tyre; it would seem that our friend Draco is heading for Egypt. Apparently Alexander the Great wants to conquer not Mesopotamia, but all human civilizations. I have been following you, meaning to tell you this” Prox said.
“Those Macedonians and their maniacal leader must be stopped!” Rei said angrily.
“Agreed. Let us continue onward towards Egypt then. Prox, may we meet again.” Kai said before rushing off, Rei and Balter behind him.
“We shall see” Prox speculated. Prox got on his steed and headed off in the opposite direction, towards Pella, Macedonia. Pella was where Alexander’s palace laid. It was also a diverse center of metropolitan life. But Prox had someone to meet there, unfinished business to attend to.
After a night of riding, Prox came upon an unusual scene. A beautiful young maiden was tied to a pole while a young man was torturing her and mocking her. Prox came closer before eavesdropping.
“Alexander the Great is growing impatient and he would like to know why Phoenicia was not conquered. His top general Draco was sent weeks ago, and still has not reported anything yet. Where is Draco?” the man asked.
“I told you, I don’t know” the young lady replied.
“I found you near Phoenicia, so you must have seen Draco and his troops. Don’t lie to me woman!” the man glared menacingly.
Prox decided that now was the time to intervene. Prox produced his blade from his hand, and before the man could notice anything, his body laid in pieces. The sound from Prox’s energy blade awakened the rest of the troops. One by one, each soldier was disintegrated from a knife or impaled from a blade. Before long, Prox had wiped out the man’s forces.
All the while, the girl looked in shock, but started to speak. “Who are you and how did you do that?” she asked.
“My name is Prox and I am…well just call me different from others” Prox replied, while untying the girl.
“So you have a gift?” the girl asked.
“Yes” Prox said, surprised.
“Well I am not that much different from you then. I too have a gift. Let me show you” The girl said. The girl then circled around Prox ten times before he could even blink.
“You are really fast” Prox said, astounded.
“By the way, my name is Mia” the girl said, smiling.
Amazing! How many more gifted people can there be? Prox wondered.
342 BC, Thebes, Capital of Egypt
Draco was getting impatient. The city of Thebes should have been captured hours ago. What was taking his forces so long? He decided to wander in and investigate.
The streets of Thebes were almost completely obliterated, but his eyes were focused on the battle going on at the heart of the city. There, lay almost half his troops dead at the feet of a gigantic half-human half-lion. One by one, this monstrosity was pounding his soldiers into the ground. Draco could not stand for this much longer. He unsheathed his trademark weapons: his dual scimitars, and charged into the fray.
The monster’s 5-foot long battle-axe barely missed Draco as he plunged his scimitars into the monster’s shin. The monster then swung his battle-axe into Draco, hitting Draco with the hilt and sending him 100 feet away, unconscious. The rest of Draco’s soldiers then ran for their lives, abandoning their general in a heap of rubble.
A short while later, as Draco regained consciousness, he found himself staring up at the faces of Kai, Rei, Balter and the monster he just fought. He quickly bolted up.
“What happened? Where did you come from?” Draco demanded.
“Relax, you’ve just been rendered unconscious from our friend Zephyr” Rei explained, motioning towards the monster.
“Friend? That thing almost killed me!” Draco said angrily.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, but if I didn’t then you surely would have killed me.” Zephyr explained.
“As for our arrival, our good friend Prox told us where you were heading. We arrived a couple hours ago.” Kai said.
“I think it would a good idea for you to join us. Zephyr told us about your skill with the scimitar. Surely you must be gifted.” Rei said hopefully.
Draco was still angry. “Join you? You people are my enemies. I serve only Alexander the Great and I refuse to co-operate with such absurd conditions.” Draco said.
“Your army is gone. You are no longer Alexander’s favored general and you are facing 4 gifted individuals. Either join us or be killed. You choose.” Kai said solemnly.
Draco regretted this decision, but under such insurmountable odds then he had no choice. “I will join you” Draco admitted, to Rei’s glee.
The group then continued on their journey, out of Thebes, and towards the capital of Macedonia, Pella.
“So Zephyr, tell us about yourself” Rei asked, curiously.
“As you all know, I am not normal. It was not my decision to be born a half-lion half-human, 10-foot high monster. In fact, I don’t even remember about my existence. The only thing I remember is my purpose. My duty is to be the guardian of Thebes, the protector of the riches that lie there. Since I am a ‘gifted’ individual, I feel it necessary to accompany you on your quest, but after it is over, then I will resume my post as guardian.” Zephyr explained.
Draco glared at him. Out of all these people, Zephyr was the one he hated the most. Not because he destroyed his army, but because he had left a hideous scar on Draco’s face and even more on his body.
One night, while the rest of the party was resting, Draco heard an unusual sound. It sounded like a snake’s hiss with the occasional snaps of a claw. Before long, everyone had woken up and was aware of it. What could it be? Draco thought. Several minutes later, 2 Mastyrials appeared behind some rocks. Mastyrials were twice as big as Dune reapers and twice as powerful.
“Overgrown scorpions” Zephyr warned.
As they closed in, Rei formed a protective barrier while Kai, Draco and Zephyr slashed away and Balter sniped. Balter took out the eyes of one while Zephyr cleaved it, while Kai and Draco minced the other one with powerful lunges.
“Piece of cake” Kai said, smiling.
342 BC, Macedonia
“Mia!” Prox said. Mia woke up, startled. “We’re almost there. Pella’s defenses are still active though. Alexander the Great still has over a thousand men guarding his city.” Prox continued.
Mia nodded and didn’t complain. As they traveled further, Mia remembered her reason for being here. Mia was born in 358 BC, in the faraway city of Athens, Greece. Mia was an adventurous tomboy who didn’t even know that she was gifted. Being the daughter of a rich king, she was always treated like a baby, and not allowed to wander alone at all. At the age of 14, she had gotten tired of this treatment and ran away from home. King Latimer of Phoenicia had found her as she was running away, and had brought her to Tyre, providing hospitality for her for the next two years.
A few days ago, as fate had it, Mia happened to be wandering around Tyre when she had seen an intense battle-taking place outside. She watched it from a distance, curiously eyeing the bizarre individuals. She knew that there others like her, who had unusual, but intimate powers. And now she was even traveling with one of them, to a place that she didn’t even know! She was looking for adventure though, and couldn’t resist traveling with a man as talented as Prox.
“Do you see that?” Prox remarked.
Mia faded back to reality just in time to see the massive defenses perched at Pella. A thousand? No. Even more troops were positioned stiffly around the perimeter of Pella and inside it.
“How could we breach the defenses?” Mia asked.
“Just wait and you’ll see.” Prox said.
A moment later, a gigantic energy ball blazed across the sky, blasting some of the defensive soldiers. Mia looked in silent awe as more soldiers fell to another onslaught of destructive spells. The source of this destruction was a young, blue-haired girl, levitating above them.
“About time you came, Auria” Prox remarked.
“Well, you weren’t exactly on time either. And I suppose that this girl is the reason for that?” Auria replied.
“This girl has formidable potential. Her speed is unrivaled, and her melee training is almost complete” Prox said.
Melee training! Mia had almost forgotten that. In the few days or so that they had been together, Prox had taught Mia to use a varity of melee weapons. Mia’s personal favorites were the tonfas. Tonfas were two independent weapons; each one was like a handheld stick, with blades at the end. They were small, light and fast; with Mia’s speed, she was almost unrivaled in sheer accuracy.
Mia looked at Prox. Prox was a very hard man to define; partly because he had no face, and therefore no expression. She didn’t know if Prox was letting her travel with him because of her lust for adventure, or for personal gain.
“Then it is settled then. I will distract the soldiers while you and the girl slip past the defenses and destroy Alexander the Great.” Auria proceeded.
“Wait first, I hear a distant noise” Prox said.
Sure enough, a few moments later, Kai’s group had arrived. “Hey Prox! A pleasure to meet you again.” Rei said.
“Who are these people?” Zephyr asked. Draco just glared at Prox and said nothing.
“Don’t worry. I’ll explain everything” Prox said.
After a few brief introductions, the plan was fully under way.
“Does everyone understand what we are doing?” Kai asked.
Everyone agreed. “There comes a time when destiny calls forth a people and demands an action. Now is that time, we are the people and this is our action. All 8 of the gifted individuals are here. With all our strength combined, we cannot fail. Charge!” Kai spoke with cold finality.
342 BC, Pella, capital of Macedonia
Boom! Another explosion rocketed forth soldiers from their posts at Macedonia’s outer defenses. Auria smirked as she powered forth another wave of pure energy, demolishing more soldiers. Auria had promised to avenge her past by committing to her future.
Auria was born in 360 BC, a descendant from the ancient city Atlantis. A massive earthquake had sunk Atlantis some decades before. Her parents had managed to escape the explosion, and eventually settled near Assyria before giving birth to her. Unfortunately, her parents had died when she was only 10, so for the next 6 years, she was left wandering around Mesopotamia, trying to find a way to fit in. It was hard though, given her unique powers; she could produce pure forms of energy merely by focusing it. But her power was uncontrollable, and disturbingly powerful, so she was an outcast among society. One day, she had met a man named Prox, equally unique. Prox told her about the growing Macedonian empire, and that its leader (Alexander the Great) seeks to conquer the world. Prox explained that she could finally put her powers into good use helping him to destroy Macedonia. Auria had promptly agreed, never doubting a man that was 10 years her senior. Prox had told her to meet him at the gates of Pella in 2 years’ time. And now here she was, pertaining to her ‘destiny’.
Auria looked over at the man named Balter. For a guy who didn’t talk, he sure has some skills, she thought. Balter was streaming constant arrows of fire at his opponents. And he never missed, maybe due his third eye. Auria said nothing and continued to blast the outer defenses. She could only hope that the others were doing their part.
Inside Pella’s imperial palace…
“Draco, wait for me!” Rei cried as she struggled to catch up.
Draco said nothing. How did a general like him get paired up with an impotent girl like her! Draco was disgusted at Rei’s constant innocence and friendliness, but he couldn’t help but feel some feeling towards her. He didn’t know what, but this woman was making him softer.
He dismissed the thought as two Xorns popped up out from behind an archway. Xorns were massive, 8-armed creatures that looked like they were made from metal. One Xorn charged straight towards Draco without making a passive defense; a critical error, Draco thought. Draco dived beneath the Xorn before lunging both scimitars at its stomach. The Xorn met a swift end, but another had come up behind him and knocked him towards the wall.
Draco felt dizzy, but was reviving fast! Rei was steadily working her healing powers, making sure that Draco didn’t get hurt. Draco smiled; maybe this woman is useful after all. Draco dodged another blow as he threw one scimitar at the Xorn’s stomach, using the other scimitar to cut off its hand. Draco then used one scimitar as defense while grabbing the other scimitar, jabbing the monster until it died.
Rei grinned; Draco sure was a remarkable fighter. He was probably the finest in all of Mesopotamia. Rei knew that he was not a friendly guy, but she was willing to take the chance to get to know him. He seems to have a nicer side on the inside, she thought. As she and Draco battled throughout the palace, eliminating Alexander’s monsters, she wondered if the others were all right.
342 BC, Pella, capital of Macedonia
Smash! Zephyr laughed as another soldier fell before his powerful punches. Two more soldiers came for behind, which Zephyr anticipated with a powerful blow from his battle-axe. Zephyr looked down at the unconscious bodies before him and wondered how much longer he could do this for. Zephyr was usually a non-violent person; he did this for the sole purpose of preventing Macedonia’s domination of the world. But Zephyr still ponders about his forgotten past. He was born around 377 BC, the descendant of an Egyptian God. This would explain his half-lion, half-human appearance, as well as the fact that he was 10 feet tall. He had been the guardian of Thebes for as long as he could remember. He glanced at his gigantic battle-axe; an ancient weapon bestowed upon all guardians upon ascension.
Wham! Another soldier had tried to run into Zephyr and bounced himself back instead. Zephyr stopped reminiscing, and turned to notice a horde of 10 soldiers, all charging into him. Zephyr threw two soldiers out of his way before smashing another one. Two more felt the blade of his axe, throwing them into the rest. Zephyr made short work of the group, but he wasn’t proud of it. He glanced instead at Prox, his partner who was also supposed to be eliminating Pella’s inner defenses.
Prox had kept both his hands busy. One hand was firing a continuous stream of silver shards while the other swung a sword at any close enemies. Prox said nothing but shared the same concern as the others.
Inside Pella’s Imperial Palace, Alexander’s Inner Sanctum
Sweat was forming on Kai’s forehead. He wasn’t sure of how powerful the leader had become. Alexander the Great’s had many talents, most of them legendary.
“What’s wrong?” Mia said, concerned.
“Nothing” Kai said, regaining his confidence.
Mia knew that Kai was nervous about confronting the Macedonian Emperor, and had tried to cheer him up. Kai did not want others to worry about his problems though, and had kept his distance. “I am the top Persian Commander, favored by the gods. With our teamwork, we cannot lose” Kai said, solemnly.
Mia agreed, but gasped a moment later. A tall, mustached man with flowing robes had appeared before them.
“Ah, I see that the legendary Kai has come. Alexander has heard great things about you. He is expecting you and does not want to be disappointed,” The man said.
Mia cast a nervous glance at Kai, who seemed to be calm about all this. “Follow me,” the man said, as he led Kai and Mia down many tunnels before reaching a massive door.
The door opened automatically, revealing an incredulous room. Its floors were made of transparent glass, the ceilings glittering with encrusted jewels, the walls made out of mosaic drawings. At the end of a fire-lit pathway, sat the emperor himself, on top of a gold-plated throne.
“Welcome to my lavish room Kai. I, as you know, am Emperor Alexander the Great of Macedonia. Conqueror of the world. Ruler of Mesopotamia. Isn’t it a grand title Kai? You probably could have achieved it you know. Knowing your skills, you could’ve been a king of the Persian Empire. But you chose to be a leader of an army. Interesting, as it is the same choice that my ex-general Draco made” the emperor said.
“Why do you do this?” Kai asked.
“Isn’t it obvious? The answer is power. And power is everything. You shall see soon. Zeo, kill the girl” Alexander said.
“No!!” Kai yelled as Mia struggled, held by the mustached man.
342 BC, Pella, capital of Macedonia, Alexander’s throne room
Grief overcame Kai as he watched Mia struggle with Zeo. He couldn’t do anything though; Alexander would see him and destroy them both. Mia twisted and turned and finally, thanks to her increased motion, freed herself from Zeo’s grip. She then turned around, and started to beat Zeo with her tonfas before the defiler even knew what was happening. Kai and Alexander could only watch as Zeo was knocked to the ground, still stunned.
“This girl has more potential than I thought” Alexander said, before knocking Mia into the wall with a heavy blast of air.
“No!!” Kai shouted as he watched Mia, lying unconscious on the ground. For all he knew, she could have been dead. How could he have let this happen? Kai thought. Kai knew that he actually cared deeply for the girl even thought he had tried to repress his emotions. Alexander will pay for this! Kai thought as he looked at the emperor angrily.
“Well, Well Kai. How could you even think of defeating me? I am far more gifted than you are.” Alexander said, smirking.
Kai looked surprised. “Don’t look so surprised. I was born with the ability to be Psychic, as well as the ability to absorb powers. In fact, I already have all the powers that your friends used to have” Alexander said, motioning towards a hidden room.
The hidden room opened, revealing the unconscious bodies of Mia, Zephyr, Balter, Auria, Prox, Draco and Rei. Kai was speechless. How could this happen? He thought that they were doing fine.
“My defilers have captured them all and now I have their powers. But I am missing one more power.” Alexander continued.
Kai could not take this much longer. He charged at Alexander, but Alexander, using Mia’s moves, moved too fast for him.
“I need your power, Kai. Give it to me!” Alexander yelled.
Kai dodged, and swung his Xeon sword at his back. Alexander saw it with his third eye, courtesy of Balter’s, and blocked it with one of Draco’s scimitars. Kai pushed on relentlessly, but couldn’t win against Zephyr’s strength. Alexander pushed him away before barraging Kai with a flurry of Prox’s knives. Kai stumbled under the barrage, while getting hit simultaneously with Auria’s energy blasts. Pain flowed through Kai, as objects and blasts hit him at once. Kai could not give up though, and continued to endure the torture.
“How much longer?” Alexander said, laughing.
All Kai felt now was anger. The sacred power of the Lemurians erupted through him, as the rightful prince now stood in a new light. This was Kai’s power, fully unleashed. Kai felt no more pain, no more sorrow, and no more anger. Kai teleported behind Alexander, and used his hidden psionic powers on him. Alexander’s Psionic shield and Rei’s barrier proved no match for Kai, and Alexander was soon overwhelmed with mental blasts.
“How…” Alexander said, as he fell to the ground, lifeless and powerless.
“So tell us, how did you defeat him?” Rei asked curiously.
“I don’t really remember much…” Kai said, now back to his original self.
Everyone had their powers back, and Kai’s group had been hailed as saviors for defeating the Macedonian Empire. Zephyr was back to being a guardian, Rei was a master healer, Draco was a famous weapons master, and Balter was the commander of Phoenicia. Prox and Auria disappeared, probably looking for more adventure. Kai and Mia were left celebrating as Emperor and Empress of the Persian Empire. No one was reminded of this story, a tale that existed only in memory.