Categories
Politics

Thoughts on confidence and feminism

This is gonna be another post that will show people more of who I am; following on a very open and honest post that I made, and another post last year where I explained my biggest strength.

I am a very well-read person, and I often read Wikipedia articles in my spare time, because I like reading about various things. Everything peaks my interest. I’ve read articles ranging from history (Opium Wars, Battle of Stalingrad, Huaihai campaign, etc), politics (communism, socialism, dictatorships, etc), technology (Acorn Archimedes, Intel 8080 microprocessor, Lisp programming language, etc), food (history of ketchup, mustard, black pepper, etc), amongst various other things.

The last 20 Articles I’ve read highlight my range of interests (you can google these):

1. Maddox (writer) – internet blogger
2. Ungulate – a group of mammals
3. Camera Obscura – an early type of camera
4. Hypercard – an old standard for web app development
5. St Elmo’s Fire – a natural weather phenomenon
6. Designworks USA – a design company now owned by BMW
7. SteamOS – an operating system for PC games
8. Longines – a swiss watch company
9. Hatoful Boyfriend – a dating simulation game
10. Beringia – an old land bridge between Siberia and Alaska
11. Fight of the Century – a fight between Mohammed Ali and Joe Frazier
12. Jim Morrison – former lead singer of The Doors
13. Corset – a piece of clothing females used to wear
14. Bird’s eye figure – a type of wood decoration
15. Leeroy Jenkins – an circa 2006 internet meme
16. String theory – an alternate theory of the universe
17. Duane Allman – a former guitarist who founded the Allman Brothers and died at only 24
18. Atari Jaguar – a failed video game console from the early 90s
19. Smartbook – a device that is a laptop form factor with an ARM processor (not x86)
20. Sean Plott – an former pro gamer and active youtube streamer

So yes, I know a lot about a variety of things in the world.

But I don’t know how to get a girlfriend. It’s not something you can learn in school, its not something I can learn on Wikipedia, and I wasn’t born with the ability to make good conversation. My last post highlighted why so many girls were ignoring me for apparently no reason, and my best theory is that I am just not that interesting. I need to improve my conversation skills.

Because I have a lot of friends who *are* good talkers, I know the most important things is to have a good sense of humor, and being confident. Those are the most attractive attributes. I’m not a naturally outgoing guy. Although I am good at making public speeches (Toastmasters, presentations, performing), I am very quiet at making conversation in groups, and perhaps the most awkward situation you can put me in is to make conversation with a group of girls. Korean girls especially, are very quiet by nature so its very difficult to make that connection with them.

My shyness is deep rooted… I used to be so shy in high school that I would lock myself in the restrooms just to avoid talking to people in the hallway. That’s how shy I was. I opened up a little in university when I joined all the clubs and Toastmasters and AIESEC, but I am still not naturally charismatic. I know I need to be more confident, and I am not aggressive enough, and too “nice”, and too afraid to offend people with jokes or physical contact, which is why I think I fail so much at the relationship aspect of things. But I will try to improve on this.

Conservative
I realized one of the main reasons why I like Korea so much is because its so conformist. All the guys and girls dress and act similar. As some people may know, I’m a steadfast conservative, and have been since 2009. I’m all for lower taxes, smaller government, rights to freedom, etc but I also want to go back to the US 1950s culture, where everyone was conformist. Back then, all the men wore suits and hats, all the women stayed at home and wore dresses, and I think everyone was more polite and skinnier for sure (thanks childhood obesity) back then as well. So that was an ideal for me, despite the fact that back then people were more racist. But hey, its not so different than Korea is now. Everyone dresses well, people are racist against non-Koreans, and everyone is polite. But I’m not a progressive, and I feel like the more we ‘move forward’, the more chaotic it gets. San Francisco was a little too diverse for me.

Feminism
For all of history, the guy has always been more dominant than the woman. It’s just natural. Males have always hunted, women have always gathered. The history books are dominated by (mostly white) males. And yes, I am kind of conservative in the traditional sense, so I will admit that I don’t understand feminism too well. There are people who think the progress made by women especially western women is good for society and for all societies, but I beg to differ.

I want to talk about is how politically correct the climate in the US is right now. I’m in Korea right now, where the women aren’t exactly equal to men here. Korean women know that they are treated unequally from men, for example they have to wear makeup all the time and men don’t, but they don’t seem to be starting any protests or petitions for this to change. Some Korean girls that I talked to want to be housewives and stay at home and do cooking and housework and all that traditional stuff.

My point is, it depends on the culture. Not every woman in the world wants to be as strong or stronger than the man. Why? Because in those cultures the men have more responsibility and the woman might not want to take on those responsibilities. Yes, in many senses, Korea is what the US was like back in the 1950s when women mostly stayed at home. And last time I checked, the 1950s, as “unequal” as they were, was a pretty good decade economically in the US! Even though mostly the men were working! and how many women complained about it at that time? Certainly not as many as today.

I mean, I think men like girls who are feminine and do traditional women roles, and I think women like guys who are masculine and do traditional men roles. It’s the way animals have always been. You never see a female lion doing the work of a male lion do you? Or the male lion doing a female lion’s work? It’s the way humans have always been. It’s the way society always has been until the 1970s feminist movement. So, yeah, 50 years ago, ask any guy if the woman should be at home doing housework, and he will say yes. If you ask a guy now, they will probably say ‘No, because woman should be empowered, etc’. But I bet many guys are saying that because of the social climate now, and not because they actually like stronger, more independent women.

I think starting from 2013 or 2014 I started to notice more and more feminism going around, like the stuff about Gamergate, and withdrawing GTA 5 from shelves because you can assault women and Female Thor, and all these other things came up that were basically people complaining about things that had been around for a long time, like video games and movies and comic books and putting their feminist slant on it because they were not treated ‘equally’.

I think all of this is unnecessary.. I mean people didn’t have a problem with the other GTAs, and with online video games and comic books and movies back then, and now there’s a petition to put a woman on a $20 bill? that’s just overkill. I don’t know why these issues suddenly came up its not like all these things suddenly changed or something its just that feminists all of a sudden started complaining about them now.

So yeah, thats my traditional conservative view on feminism. I know many people will hate on me for having this traditional view, but hey, it’s my opinion. And it’s freedom of speech. I don’t think its “wrong” to have a view that has been commonplace for most of human history. This is why they have a conservative and liberal party in most republics.

Categories
General School/Work

Thoughts about introversion, leaving BT, Ladies Code, Tech

Work
Today is my last day at BitTorrent. I enjoyed working there, I had a cool manager, smart co-workers, I learned a lot of technologies like NodeJS, EpoxyJS, more Backbone and especially payments systems like Paypal and StripeJS, but in the end I guess I was still tired of the monotony. I needed something new and invigorating, I needed to move someplace new. It’s been 4 months already since I was in Korea, and I’m dying to go back already. 2 weeks a year of vacation simply wasn’t enough. It was like being in jail for 50 weeks and having freedom the other 2 weeks.

Tragedy
The tragedy that happened to Korean pop group Ladies Code deeply disturbed me. Two members died in a car accident, the other 3 have to undergo surgery. Still, the fact that they were so young, just beginning their careers and with so much hope to the future, and their sudden death made me realize how fragile life is, that anyone can die at anytime, and I hope we can learn to cherish our loved ones knowing this in the future. Yes, people die all the time, even young people, but the fact is these were celebrities and they were Korean, which hit me hard. Parents should never have to bury their children.

Smartwatches and Smartphones
The Apple Watch finally came out, and as always my opinion on smart watches are, if they have a long lasting battery (> 2 weeks) and is waterproof then I’ll buy it. If not, then they aren’t better than my current watch (a Seiko Kinetic), which charges automatically and is 100m waterproof. Also, I prefer round to square faces. My opinion is that smart watches should only do basic functionality, like show notifications and basic PIM-like functions. Anything more than PDA-like functionality is too much. We use smartphones to do complicated tasks, we’re not using to interacting with a watch other than just looking at it, so anything more than a glance is overdoing it. The only area where I think complicated functionality might be good on a watch is a voice assistant (Siri/Google Now/Cortana) but it shouldn’t respond with more than just the basic answer. The Apple Watch is an example of doing too much (viewing photos on a watch is just ridiculous), but the Meta watch gets it right. Looks good, with basic functionality at a glance. Anything more, just pull out your phone from your pocket.

As for smartphones, I wish more manufacturers would make two sizes, a smaller size and a bigger size. I think 4.7″ is a little bit big for me, coming from a 4″ iPhone 5S, but right now there’s no more options for smaller sizes. Every manufacturer now including Apple has moved to making phones at least 4.7″ in size, and that’s too bad. That’s like saying, lets only make laptops with 15″ screens and discontinue smaller screens because most people don’t like smaller screens. Some people do want smaller screens (either for portability or battery life) and we don’t need the bigger screen.

Introversion
I have always been an introverted person. It’s just built into my DNA. From a young age, I had a hard time making friends. In high school, sometimes I would hide in the school bathroom just to avoid talking to people. I am very awkward in social situations. I don’t like to start conversations. I purposely take longer routes sometimes to avoid meeting people. Sometimes I just like to stay at home and not talk to anyone. I am very much a loner, close friendships are hard to make, and long lasting romantic relationships have never existed for me.

That said, this sort of changed in 2010 when I joined AIESEC. Since then, I’ve been involved in meet ups, couchsurfing, and conversation clubs to meet people. But that’s more or less because I am forced to. In America/Canada, it’s very hard to meet someone unless you actively make an effort. You have to actively join clubs and meet ups and network with people. This is in contrast to Asia, where most people meet from introductions or services.
I am Asian to my core. I dislike having to make an active effort to meet people, and it feels very forced to do that. I’d rather have my friends introduce me to someone, but that culture doesn’t exist here. What’s more, I’m not a very good conversationalist, I don’t know how to keep conversations going. This is something most Americans are good at, and I’m not. I’m very good at following orders, and not very good at leading. I’m very good at listening, but not talking. All this just means, I’m probably a better fit for Asian society (where I was born) than Western society. I just feel like a fish out of water in a society where people constantly reference pop culture, makes jokes, come up with random topics, etc. This has always been the case for me. That’s why most of my friends are Asian or international students.

Pictures
I try to take more pictures these days, because I regret not taking more pictures before. Its sad that I can’t remember anything that happened 4-5 years ago because I have no pictures. Also I have no pictures with my good friends back in Toronto, which is kind of sad. It’s regretful, but better start logging these later rather than never.

Categories
General Music School/Work

The Year of the Dragon

Bruce Lee

李小龙
李小龙

This year is the year of the dragon in China. I was born in 1988, so this is my year, which only happens every 12 years. So why not talk Bruce Lee, the “Little Dragon”? I went to watch a documentary about him a week ago, called I am Bruce Lee. This is a really good documentary, it touches on every part of his life from his childhood up until his tragic death at age 32. There was also lots of celebrities who talked about him at length, including his wife, daughter, Kobe Bryant, UFC President Dana White, etc. It’s all very interesting, and I think more people should watch the film, about a man who sought to defy racial stereotypes and promote Chinese pride over 40 years ago. He brought Chinese martial arts to the west, was the father of mixed martial arts (his ‘style’ is called Jeet Kune Do, the way of the intercepting fist), the first major Asian star in the U.S, married a white woman (still rare today that Asian men marry white women), and a great philosopher who constantly strove to improve his body and mind. All that, and he died young. Perhaps those that God loves die young.

Acoustic Guitar

I’ve recently decided to focus more on acoustic guitar. I’ve played guitar for 8 years now… and up until recently have focused on the electric and shunned the acoustic. I’ve always thought electric guitars could do anything, emulate any instrument like violin, and guzheng, and piano and even acoustic guitar. Although I can make it sound similar, there’s something about acoustic guitar that feels really natural, and I love the portability of it, not needing an amp to play. I can easily bring it to a friend’s house, unlike an electric. So all this is short for ‘I bought a new acoustic guitar’. Yup. A Martin OMJM for $2500.

Martin OMJM
Martin OMJM

What can I say? It’s really really good, and I love playing it. An acoustic guitar only has one factor in the tone besides your playing, and that’s the guitar itself. An electric guitar however, has lots of factors like the guitar, pickups, cables, pedals, amp, strings, etc. An acoustic guitar really only has strings and the guitar itself, hence the pricey investment. Here’s a video of me playing it.

httpv://youtu.be/rY3KK-PKGtU

Social Life
Finally,  I found that its still been hard for me to make friends here. Mostly because of my chronic shyness. Why is it so easy for me to talk to someone online but in person I lose all courage and become so shy? Perhaps I am afraid of people reacting to me.. but I want to fix it, how do I fix being a loner? Go out and meet people. Join meetup groups. Attend church services. Volunteer. Go to clubs and events. Take courses. Look for ways to connect with people from the bay area. Find a roommate once my lease is up. Most importantly though, I have to keep practicing talking with people, especially with talking with  a group of people, and sustaining a conversation, which I find difficult. Because I’ve been a loner since I was young, this is something that needs a lot of practice. If I don’t practice, I will be doomed to be forever alone… =( .