So it’s been almost a year since I wrote my last note, so basically I have witnessed in myself quite a change since first year. Whether this change is good or bad remains to be seen, but I think in general I am more aware of what is going on around me.
Second year university has been the hardest year of my life so far, both physically and psychologically, this is in comparison to first year which was relatively laid back and casual. I have had the support of family and friends to get me through this, so I am grateful for that. But more than support, I think is how university is more of a test of your limits as an individual. It tests whether or not you may choose to rise up to your destiny or to avoid your troubles and succumb to your fears. I plan to rise up and overcome my challenges, and I have already faced some of my greatest fears.
In contrast to myself as a first year, where I was so anxious to make friends and get along with everyone, this year I seem more interested in letting things go the way they are, a more passive approach to life. No longer am I constantly posting on people’s walls hoping they respond, or developing crushes on random people, or hoping that this person or that person would be a good friend, or seven or eight different clubs hoping that I will meet the right person. I think it is more about how I’ve accepted my cirumstances as a person and fate as well. Overall, I think I’ve progressed a great deal as an individual. Still alot to learn yes, but now at least I am aware of my actions and their consequences.
So even though I still haven’t made any good friends in unversity, even though I despair because I work so hard to achieve a below-average mark in my assignments, I still believe that eventually my destiny will be worth it.
So this year, I am taking more of a wait-and-see approach with things, I know that great things will come with great effort and the will to succeed, but I also know that sometimes wanting something more may actually undermine the thing that you are striving for in the end.
As a computer scientist, as a musician and as an individual, I think life is about overcoming your weaknesses and your challenges, facing your fears, living up to your expectations and achieving your dreams. But I think these things do require a lot of time and effort, it’s not for someone who are lazy…but I will continue to hope that I am walking on the right path, and that fate will serve me better as time goes on.
我一年级倒是很着急交朋友，但今年就想让命运做主。总之，我已经决定我命运是应该的。我觉得我已经好多了。还有很多没学会，不过至少注意我的主意和我的后果。 虽然还没有在大学做好朋友，还没有达到满意的考分，但是我相信命运将来值得我痛苦。我知道最大的事情还没有来，我也知道现在很重要，需要多加油才会成功。 所以对我这种来说，我认为生活是关于克服你的缺点和挑战，面对你的恐惧，实现你的希望和梦想。 懒惰的人不会了解，因为这些事要求得很多时间和努力。 我要继续希望我走在正确的道路。并且也希望命运以后对我更好。