Categories
Humor

How mathematicians solve relationship problems

Look, we both said some things that were false…you called me a jerk, I said that you were irrational. But all of that was before t=0. I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and I arrived at an important conjecture. You are a very meaningful factor to me…from the moment I discovered your existence, I knew that our relation was real, even though I thought you were in my imagination when I saw those i’s. It was a sine, and now you have become an integral part of my existence. I don’t know what would happen if we divided….I’d be half the man I am today. I know I can be square at times, but you really complete me…

I mean, the integral of e^x is always great and everything, and everytime I see you I just wanna bisect those legs and be really naughty…like, like divide by zero or something. But we have to remember that it’s only a trivial solution, and we have to calculate further to find the root and determinant of our initial value problem before we no longer function and everything becomes chaotic. Lets not make it get to the point where I become your x, and log(100) years later, we’re asking ourselves “y”? let us forget about these extra variables…we are in our prime. Let’s move on with our existence, multiply, have log(100) products, sum together, and call it even.

MATH LOVE STORY:

They integrated from the very point of origin. Her curves were continuous, and even though he was odd, he was a real number. They both wanted to get skewed. The day their lines first intersected, they became an ordered pair. From then on, it was a continuous function. They were both in their prime, so in next to no time they were horizontal and parallel. She was awed by the magnitude of his perpendicular line, and he was amazed by her conical projections.

“Bisect my angle!” she postulated each time she reached her local maximum. They had many simultaneous solutions. He taught her the chain rule as she implicitly defined the amplitude of his simple harmonic motion. They underwent multiple rotations of their axes, until at last they reached the vertex, the critical point, their finite limit.

After that they slept like logs. Later she found him taking a right-handed limit, and that was a problem. It was improper form. He meanwhile had realized that she was irrational, not to mention square. It seemed as though she was from another dimension. Things just weren’t adding up, so they diverged. That was a real plus because he needed to get her out of his domain.

She’s currently reaching the limit in a relationship that is somewhat undefined. He is currently unable to afford dating because he did a cosine on a loan for his son, Ray.

Categories
General

I’ll never find the perfect girl. *sigh*

Yes yes I know this is a pathetic rant but I’ve been wanting to let this out for a while. People keep asking me that I’ll find the perfect girl someday and I just don’t know If that ‘someday’ is sometime soon. The perfect girl could be at the subway station, or walking around the CNE, or even in my classes at school, but I’ll never know that. Not because I’m afraid to ask them or anything, but it seems I have low self esteem in front of women. There seems to be so many beautiful and smart women out there and I just feel like I’m not good enough for them. I am especially nervous in front of asian women. This is not only because I’ve never known an asian person (outside of my family) that well in my life before, but just that I have tremendous longing for them as well. I believe that I finally realized this during one of the various times that I have watched a movie alone, dined alone, or watched the fireworks alone amidst other guys who have their girlfriends care for them. There is this feeling I get when I see a couple hold hands together, or share a kiss, or play around with each other and I feel such pain because I wish I could do that with someone else. Now you must wonder, how is it that a 5’11, former-football playing, blues/rock musician has to talk about a subject like this on a facebook blog? How is it that I have never had a girlfriend despite being an average-looking, friendly and outgoing person? A witty and weird sense of humour? being on the honor roll for every year of high school, becoming an ontario scholar and earning 2 scholarships on the way? having a decent car and a decent job?
Yes, and I wonder too. I see apparently ‘nerdy’ looking guys hanging around with supermodel-looking girls all the time and wonder how this is so. I am consistently perplexed by this apparent paradox? I think it is because of this that I am perpetually alone. What few friends I have abandoned me. What’s the point of becoming famous if no one wants to hang out with you? If no one wants to go to the local concerts with you, if no one wants to watch a movie with you? This is the perpetual problem that arises with life. With no friends in life, with no one that cares for you, or loves you, you cease to exist. You exist in your memories, your thoughts, in the microcosm of your own realm. You need love to survive. You need love more than anything, because once you love someone, the necessities of other essentials like food, water, shelter, and money become less apparent. Love empowers people, causes the world to turn, people to live, and others to die. Love encompasses so many things and effects so many individuals, but the world has left no love for me.

Categories
General

Interracial Marriage percentages are quite staggering.

Edit:
Here is more proof: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/?a=1

I have researched alot into interracial marriages between Asian Americans and Caucasians (because of my indelible curiousity with this trend, I will also refer to whites as caucasians for consistency), and have found quite shocking results.
The following is paraphrased from asian-nation.org, a site that verifies its information regularly using textbooks and demographical statistics and trends. Here are the finds.

Indian-Americans:
Males: 69% marry other Indian Americans, while 21% marry Caucasians.
Females: 70% marry other Indian Americans, while 21% marry Caucasians.

Chinese Americans:
Males: 65% marry other Chinese Americans, while 19% marry Caucasians.
Females: 55% marry other Chinese Americans, while 30% marry Caucasians.

Filipino Americans:
Males: 50% marry other Filipino Americans, while 28% marry Caucasians.
Females: 37% marry other Filipino Americans, while 41% marry Caucasians.

Japanese Americans:
Males: 63% marry other Japanese Americans, while 20% marry Caucasians.
Females: 56% marry other Japanese Americans, while 28% marry Caucasians.

Korean Americans:
Males: 63% marry other Korean Americans, while 24% marry Caucasians.
Females: 40% marry other Korean Americans, while 48% marry Caucasians.

Vietnamese Americans:
Males: 73% marry other Vietnamese Americans, while 11% marry Caucasians.
Females: 67% marry other Vietnamese Americans, while 23% marry Caucasians.

As you can see, several trends are present here. One is that the Interacial marriage rate is increasing steadily. In the case of the Filipino Americans and Korean Americans, the intermarriage rate is almost equal or surpassing that of marrying someone of the same race.
Another trend is that females are more likely to marry caucasians than males. This may be because of a number of things. One, stereotypes that asian females are exotic and obediant wives, and that asian males are nerdy and generally weak. Second, an asian woman may marry a caucasian man because of the social benefits associated with caucasians. thirdly, the need to be accepted is quite prevalent, and a woman may marry to forsake her asian past.

Consequently, If this trend were to continue, the chance of seeing an asian-american with another asian american will continue to decrease, and be quite rare. The sense of cultural identity may also be lost with it. There is no sexism or racism associated with this post. It is simply an accurate representation of current trends within asian-american and caucasian races.

Please comment with what you think.