2017: Year in Review

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays once again. And once again, I feel that 2017 has gone by way too fast lol. Perhaps its because I spent most of this year at home and not really going outside and meeting new people and making friends like I did when I lived in Korea..

-Saved and invested a lot. Made back all my gambling losses (and then some!) with cryptocurrency this year. The rise of Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies this year has been truly astounding and imo a once in a lifetime event. Doubled my net worth this year.
-Finally made a Korean gf! and one that has lasted so far, the longest out of all my relationships. My previous longest relationship lasted 2 months. This one has been 3 months and counting! Yes it is a long distance relationship. I got to visit her in Korea for Christmas, we unfortunately only got to spend 4 days together, but it was an amazing 4 days and I can’t wait until the next time I see her (which might not be until next May).
-Went back to Korea twice this year, both times to meet a girl…

-I could have made more with crypto-currency. A lot more. But who could have expected Bitcoin to rise up 900%+ this year, or Litecoin to go up 7000% or Ripple to gain 10000%? And so on and so forth.. heck investing in ANY top 10 crypto coin this year could have made you rich. I was too timid at the beginning of the year, didn’t hold long enough, and lost my chance at becoming a millionaire. Oh well.
-Absolute boring-ness this year. Didn’t go out much. Didn’t make many friends. Work was just so-so. I was quietly dying on the inside this whole year.
-Donald Trump. Yeah I hate him. In San Francisco, who doesn’t? I’m no liberal but even as a conservative I can’t stand the guy. Especially when he’s threatening North Korea (and by extension the safe being of South Korea) all the time!
-6 times going back and forth between Canada-US border to get my TN visa processed. 6 times getting harassed at the border and getting treated like a criminal! this is partly the reason why I don’t want to get a new US job.

2017 is a year that won’t go down as one of my more exciting years. This year was all about making money and saving money. Granted, I did do a lot of that. Due to the great performance of both the stock market and cryptocurrencies, I doubled my net worth this year. I also tried my best not to spend *as* much as last year. 2015 and 2016 I bought countless electronics and gadgets. I think this year I bought one new laptop (Thinkpad TP25), 2 new watches (Frederique Constant Moonphase and Orient Star GMT), and some phones (BlackBerry KeyOne, Sony Xperia XZ1 Compact, Google Pixel 2) as well obviously games and stuff but those were the only things I bought at full retail price. Last year was far worse (I bought 3 new laptops in Dec 2016 alone!).

So yeah I know I have to do more. My best friend in SF is my idol; he not only made tons of gains by holding onto his Litecoin / Ripple holdings, but he’s always frugal and never buys anything unless he absolutely needs it. Would be nice to be like that.
Aside from that, not much else has happened this year. San Francisco is becoming a wasteland. More and more homeless people. Higher and higher prices. Less Koreans/Japanese/Taiwanese/Internationals in exchange for the only race that seems interested in staying here which are mainland Chinese. And some mainland Chinese are alright, but its no secret that I don’t get along with the majority of them. I find most of them pretentious, materialistic, and overly ignorant / prideful.

The main purpose of this year really, is to gear up for the monumental changes to my life that will happen next year. I’ve already prepared for it. At a certain point in time next year, I will sell my apartment, leave the USA, and finally after 7 years of living here, and the first time really ever in my life, give myself some freedom, with no obligation to study or work. No more TN visa hassles. Just meet my girlfriend (which I also have big plans for next year, if it all works out with her), travel to different countries, and settle back down in Canada. Big changes are happening next year, and partly the reason why 2017 *had* to be a boring, stable year is because this was a preparation year meant to save up money and gear up for next year. And in that sense, I felt that this year was a success.

What is the most difficult thing you’ve had to do in your life?

For me this is the most difficult thing I’ve done – am doing because I still haven’t succeeded yet.
All my life I’ve been generally a shy person. it was hard for me to talk to people and it was hard for me to engage in conversation. In high school I didn’t have any female friends. In University I was basically deep in my studies all the time and didn’t have much time to socialize.
After university, I immigrated to California and began working. That’s the first time I met Korean friends. Having been raised in a Chinese household and made mostly Chinese friends during university, I always thought Koreans were similar to Chinese. **I was very wrong. **The first time I visited Korea in 2013 – **I found out that Koreans and Chinese are actually totally different from each other. **I just didn’t realize this before because Korean Canadians and Chinese Canadians were actually quite similar.
Around this time I had my first Korean gf: She was beautiful, she was sweet and she was loving. And I made many Korean female friends, and I found all of them to be quite good looking and sweet to their bfs. I also found out that I may have a genetic preference for Korean women all along – their deeply Confucian culture was a much better fit for me than modern Chinese culture was, and I was attracted to how they looked, how they dressed, the way they acted, how feminine they were, and Korean culture and mannerisms in general.
I realized that all the girls in my life that I’ve been attracted to – have either been Korean all along or have exhibited Korean characteristics. Having realized this attraction, **I made it a personal goal to marry a Korean woman – **and buried my head deep in Korean language books to improve my Korean.
For 2 years from 2012 to 2014, I studied Korean history, culture and grammar really hard and finally improved my Korean to a level that I would consider ‘conversationally fluent’. Then I had to change my job. I quit my job and changed to a job that allowed me to work remotely. The problem was, I still had work the same time zone as my California team members. Oh well.
In 2014 I moved to Korea not knowing if I could even get a place to stay there. I managed to get a place and a bank account using just my passport. And for 2 years I worked like a vampire – sleeping during the daytime and working during 1am to 9am (the hours were exactly opposite California and Korea). It put a heavy toll on my body. I only ate convenience store food during this time so it was very unhealthy. I lost more than 10kg during this time. All this so that I could have a *chance* of dating a Korean girl to fulfill my goal.
I failed. 2 years came and went, and even though I tried my best to meet Korean women – I never found one that really liked me enough to immigrate with me back to Canada. I had exhausted so many options. I tried Tinder, I tried all the online conversation exchange apps. I tried going to various language meetups. None of the girls I met from there had any interest in me.
Why I wondered? Why did Korean girls hate me so much when I sacrificed so much for them? Why did white guys have such success dating them and me as an Asian-Canadian have so little? I spoke Korean much better than the typical foreigner. I was not that bad looking by my own standards (after all I see uglier Korean guys dating pretty girls everywhere). I tried my best to dress like a Korean and have manners like a Korean. And yet I still failed. Many times I thought about giving up this dream but I couldn’t. I knew I was better than this. I knew that I had a chance but was missing something.
Then I realized – its because of my inexperience with relationships. I didn’t have that many relationships before, and my chronic shyness killed any chances of a Korean girl liking me. Firstly, it must be said that Korea is a very conservative country – and a lot of – if not the majority – of Koreans only date with other Koreans. I was rejected by a lot of women just for not being a Korean. Secondly, they prefer foreigners who looked white. As a Chinese-Canadian I was at a disadvantage. Thirdly – I was not experienced at dealing with women and way too shy. Korean women – like any women – like guys with confidence. I had very little confidence in myself and very little self esteem. I couldn’t understand why so many jerks ended up with all the women and nice guys like me got nothing.
So I tried to better myself. After my 2 years was up, I was forced to come back to the US and find another job for the time being to save up money. But make no mistake, I am still working on this goal and I still plan to move back to Korea sometime to find the right girl. This time I’ll be more experienced. And hopefully succeed. As long as I had the determination – this goal was the one driving purpose in my life. I really had dedicated the last 5 years of my life to it – and I was determined to succeed. Yes I know its an uphill battle. Yes, I know it would be easier to marry a Chinese or Thai or Filipino or whatever. But that’s not the point of life is it? If I took the easy way out.. it would be an admission of defeat and there would be no sense of satisfaction and I *still* wouldn’t be happy – because I knew that I (being of Manchu ancestry) had a genetic attraction to Korean women. And from other answers on Quora I read that Chinese male – Korean female relationships often ended up in disaster.. I was determined to be the one who can make it succeed.
So by God, this will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Graduating from a top school in Canada? been there done that. Moving to California and getting a job in Silicon Valley was peanuts. Learning Korean was a cakewalk. Marrying a Korean girl – with mutual attraction – as a Chinese Canadian – now that is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. And I’m still working on it.

Korea vs China what’s the difference?

A lot of differences. Some Chinese people say that Koreans “stole” Chinese culture but in some ways Korea is more Chinese than modern day China is.

-Koreans follow strict Confucian principles more than modern day Chinese do. This was true even back in the old times when Qing China and Joseon Korea existed. Koreans more than any other race stick together. They have this sense of ‘togetherness’ that does not exist to the same extent in modern day China. For example, somebody fall down in the street in China. Does anyone care? If it happened in Korea many people will help them. Do Chinese people really care about how other people act behave or look like? Maybe, but not to the same degree Koreans care.
-Loyalty and politeness. Korea takes a lot of cultural cues from Japan. This is one of them.. Korean companies value loyalty and expect the workers to stay at their company their whole life, just like in Japan. Its considered disloyal to quit the company or change companies. This does not happen in China. Also social cues like ‘nun-chi’ 눈치 in Korea its kind of like mannerisms towards older status people doesn’t really exist in China. Koreans bow when greeting each other. Chinese shake hands much like Westerners.
-During new years or Thanksgiving Koreans (particularly the women) will dress in their traditional outfits the hanbok 한복 and traditionally prepare food for their ancestors. A lot of Korean couples also wear hanbok just for taking pictures. You will not see Chinese wear their traditional outfits for things like this. The only times I see Chinese wear qipao or traditional Chinese outfits are for stage plays, Chinese opera or for traditional type weddings, thats it.
-Language. Korean language although they used to use Chinese characters, is very different now. They use honorifics in their language just like Japanese. So talking to older or younger person is different. Not so in Mandarin chinese.
-Work culture as I mentioned is pretty different. And its more competitive. Koreans have to learn either Chinese or Japanese in high school, and because appearance is valued so much in Korea, lots of girls get plastic surgery just to have a higher chance of getting a job there. Most students study English late into the night. You’ll find that the average Korean’s English is better than the averaged Chinese’s English skill. In China its not quite as competitive due to the following fact:
-Chinese are more ambitious and bigger risk takers than Koreans are. Koreans are very socially conservative more so than Chinese. They are risk averse and would rather suicide because they couldn’t get into Samsung or a famous university than start their own company. Chinese will find another way to get a job or start their own companies. They don’t give up quite as easily.
-Koreans care about appearance a lot like I mentioned. So almost all Korean girls wear makeup, dress up, and don’t wear glasses. Their fashion styles are totally different. In China its not quite as important, BUT they focus a lot more of showing off their wealth which means buying brand name items and owning homes is more important over there.
-Koreans are a more ‘traditional’ society… the women usually stay at home to take care of children, and do cooking and cleaning, while in China these duties are shared between the husband and wife. Gender equality is slightly better in China due to communism..
-China is a very diverse country full of different races. Korea is 99% Korean. This means if you look different or act different, you are probably more likely to be noticed in Korea than in China. Korea is a very conformist society and people like to act and look the same. You will find less ‘crazy’ people in Korea than in other countries.
-Religion. 40% of Koreans are Christians and another 30% are Buddhist. Since Communism eliminated religion, very few Chinese are actually religious.
-Koreans like to export their culture to other countries like kpop or kdramas. They somewhat have to do this because their country is small and they have a limited market, so their global marketing skills are very developed. China has a big domestic market so not much need to export their music or fashion or entertainment, thats why you never about hear any Chinese pop conventions…
-Korean food is really just a subset of Chinese food. Chinese people eat almost anything. spicy things, fried things, insects, herbs, parts of frog or duck or dog or horse, etc almost ANYTHING. The cuisine really depends on part of China, but Korean food tends to be spicy, and their cuisine really is a subset of Chinese cuisine. I can say almost anything you eat in Korea can be found *somewhere* in China, but not the other way around. Very few Koreans eat actual Chinese food and instead eat “Koreanized’ Chinese food. Jajeongmyeon is actually Korean food but they think its Chinese.
-Both countries are relatively safe compared to gun crazy America, but Korea is more safe. In China there is always risk of food poisoning, people stealing stuff, getting scammed etc. In Korea you can leave your phone on a table for hours and no one will take it.

Thats just a few differences.. there are indeed MANY since I lived in both countries. Even tiny minor things, for example Koreans like to drink when they are together and Chinese play card games (Koreans dont play card games very often). Games like Mahjong are non-existent in Korea but everywhere in China.