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Asia

How come Korean girls don’t date Chinese guys?

This is a question I have wondered about for a long time. It would seem to be a perfect pairing on paper.

Chinese guys get a girl who is not as strong as Chinese girls are (generally), do more for them around the house, give gifts or pay for things in return, do not expect a dowry when marrying, and are generally more feminine and care more about their appearance as well. In addition, there’s no historical baggage or issues like there would be if it was a Japanese girl.

Korean girls get a guy who arguably does as much as or more for them than Korean guys will, plus will do housework, cooking and taking care of the baby as well (a lot of Korean guys do not do this). Also, its arguable they dont have as much pressure to dress up or do makeup or look perfect all the time with Chinese guys compared to Korean guys.

But in practice while I was living in Korea, I noticed very few Korean girls with Chinese men (granted, it could be hard to tell these couples apart from a typical Korean couple), and even the Korean girls I met who had studied in China before as exchange students and met me to practice their Chinese, surprisingly did not date any Chinese guys in China (they still dated their Korean bfs long distance, or remained single).

So why is this? Why do Korean women stick to Korean guys or even prefer to date white men over Chinese men?

I think I finally narrowed it down to a few reasons, after asking many Korean girls this question over the years (me being of Chinese ethnicity myself, have a horse in the race so to speak):

  1. Korean women prefer to date men who can share their language and culture. This in fact is the reason why most races date their own race – but its especially true for Korean women because of how conservative their society is. Koreans in general are not known to be the type to really take risks or ‘be different’ as their society rewards a conformist way of thinking. Simply put, Korean women date Korean men because they are the most comfortable for them, they can communicate better with them, they don’t like to try new things, they want to be like every other Korean, and/or their parents are very conservative and don’t like them to date outside their race.
  2. Korean women don’t have an opportunity to know how Chinese men are like. They do know how Korean men are like. Plus the influence of Kdramas and Kpop really do help Korean men out a lot. Chinese men have no such entertainment vehicle to promote themselves. The CCP is focused on their domestic economy and are not interested to spread their culture to foreigners like Koreans do. That plus the whole censorship thing means that Chinese dramas + movies + music will likely never be popular in Korea the same way Korean music/movies/dramas are popular worldwide, and in China. This means however sweet and caring Chinese men are in reality, Korean women and other women have no idea. Instead, they have the idea that Korean men are like that because of all the dramas and such. Soft power really makes a difference here.
  3. Chinese men like to stick to their race. Ask any Chinese guy who are the prettiest girls and they will likely say Chinese girls. They won’t say Korean girls. This is because Chinese people are fiercely nationalistic and prefer their own race, but also because just like how Korean men are hyped up in Korean media, Chinese women are hyped up in Chinese media – Chinese women are promoted in their own country the same way Korean men are promoted in their country. In addition – they have the mistaken notion that all Korean women did plastic surgery (which is false, as I have explained in my previous answers many times). What you have as a result is a curious reversal of states here: Korean women and Chinese men, while on paper being the perfect fit for each other, instead remain loyal to their race, while Korean men and Chinese women – not so much. Korean men are in general just intrigued by any girl who is pretty, Korean or not. And Chinese women are lured by those Korean dramas/hype that promote Korean men, as well as men who have more money obviously. Of course on paper Korean men and Chinese women seem like the relationship will not work out very well as they are both ‘strong’ types but in reality there are more Korean men-Chinese women relationships than Korean women-Chinese men relationships, as baffling as that sounds.

But Tong, if 1) and 2) are true, why do I see a lot of Korean women marrying Western guys (i.e white men)?
This is exactly related to 1) and 2) actually.
1) Korean women who want to buck the conformist trend or don’t like the traditional Korean culture see white men as the exact opposite of Korean culture – they think Chinese men are still somewhat Confucian and a ‘halfway point’ between Korean men and Western men – why go halfway when you can go all the way to a culture thats totally different from Korean culture?
And 2) white men are heavily promoted by Hollywood and American pop music – again, media influence / soft power matters and white men have generally been the recipient of a very powerful media presence, the American media, which spreads globally. That’s why white men can generally get any girl, anywhere – America, Europe, Asia, etc without any issues.

Of course this is all my theory on why I don’t see more Chinese men – Korean girl couples even though it makes more sense for these two to be together, why in reality, we don’t actually see this being the case.
However, I will note that the few times I have seen Korean girls date Chinese men – they are usually Taiwanese or Hong Kongers. The reason for this I would assume, is that Taiwanese guys and Hong Kong guys can speak english better than mainland Chinese guys can – and they are not as fiercely nationalistic as mainland Chinese guys are either. Also, they have a generally better ‘image’ in Korea than mainlanders do (which is caused by the bad Chinese tourist stereotype).

 

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Asia General

What are some unique things about Korean women?

So everyone wants to know why I’m more attracted to Korean women so much more than any other girl. Here are the reasons:

-They are Asian, and I tend to prefer Asian faces, but Koreans in particular have that high upper cheekbone and squarish face that makes them particularly attractive to me.

-Really pale skin, just like Northeast China people (where I am from). Also every girl takes care of their skin really well.

-Every girl from high school age to their late 40s wears makeup. Not even exaggerating. They are also constantly checking their makeup in their mirrors pretty much everywhere. in Japan I saw maybe 40% of girls still bare-faced, and in China like 90% of girls are bare-faced. In HK/Taiwan maybe 60% bare-faced.

-90% of Korean girls don’t wear glasses. When I went to China maybe 50% of girls wore glasses and in Japan I think around 30%. In Taiwan/HK around 40%. in Korea hardly any girls wore them. I like girls who don’t wear glasses.

-Other cosmetic things like dying their hair, painting their fingernails and toenails etc the feminine stuff I love girls who are feminine.

-Alot of them work out or diet regularly as well, and I like girls who are slim.

-Their fashion sense is pretty amazing. Both men and women seem to care a lot more than other Asians and Westerners. For example, some of the more fashionable women dress like this during the winter:

Yeah, they wear miniskirts in the winter. And Seoul gets cold. When I went to some of the warmer parts of Asia like southern China, HK, Taiwan etc most women dressed casually like in California. I rarely ever saw Chinese women wear stockings in the winter, they usually wore pants or jeans. In Osaka and Shanghai it was still above 0, yet every girl there totally covered up as if it was minus degrees. Then I go back to Busan (same weather as Osaka/Shanghai), and there it is.. Korean women choosing fashion over comfort. Besides like one or two exceptions, I have not seen other women dress like this. That makes them pretty unique in my opinion.

-Their personality is really passive and feminine as well. They will often cover their mouths when they laugh, speak really softly or cutely to their boyfriends, hold their boyfriends arms when they are walking, make cute faces, wear couple clothes, take couple pictures, etc They respect men a lot. My Korean ex-gfs did those things with me, and I really enjoyed it.

-They are really loyal and make great mothers and wives. A lot of Korean women are fine with being housewives, which I like because it is more ‘traditional’

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Asia

Why do Koreans like plastic surgery?

Super competitive culture especially on appearance. Unlike China and America, Korea doesn’t have multiple standards of beauty. They have ONE standard. Why is that? Because they are a single race country with a limited gene pool that also happens to be really small, that’s why. Now combine that with a super stressful culture where everyone is trying to be the best, and that’s why plastic surgery is so popular. It’s often used to get a leg up on other people, especially with regards to dating or getting a job.

But I especially dislike it when people talk down on Korean women because they got plastic surgery. First off, as I said it’s not really their fault, but rather due to their high competition society that many women feel insecure and end up getting surgery.

Secondly if they want to enhance their appearance why criticize them for that? I don’t criticize girls for wearing makeup, waxing, doing their eyebrows or painting their nails even though those are all artificial ways of enhancing their appearance, so why would I criticize them for plastic surgery? It’s no different.

Thirdly, the plastic surgery stereotype is often exaggerated. The statistics show about 5% of Koreans have done them. The reason why it *seems* like every Korean has done it is because of its prevalence in famous models/singers/actresses and the advertising for it which is everywhere, and might I add a bit of confusion between makeup and surgery. A lot of people think some girls did surgery when really its just makeup skills.

Fourthly, the touristy spots like Gangnam, Jamsil, Sinsa, Itaewon and Hongdae are full of plastic girls. Outside of these areas, its not that common, but since tourists don’t go to say.. Gwangju or Gyeonggi-do, they get the impression that all korean girls are like the ones in Gangnam, but that’s not true.

Fifthly, the definition of ‘plastic surgery’ in Korea is very broad and includes lasik surgery and laser hair removal. By this definition, I have done ‘plastic’ surgery as well. The majority of the remainder is simply double eyelid surgery. True ‘invasive’ surgery like what you see in the before/after advertisements is very rare, yet people just assume that’s what most Korean girls do which is not true.

Sixthly, We have no right to judge them as foreigners for caring about their appearance or being ‘shallow’ no more than they have the right to judge us for dressing too casually, not wearing makeup everyday, caring about designer brands too much, being vegetarian etc. It’s part of their culture. Korean culture is different from other cultures. We should respect it.

My 2 cents from having a lot of Korean female friends.


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