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General

The curse of the odd number years

I only have a few days left before I leave Korea – now one of the reasons as a lot of my friends know, that I came to Korea was to find a Korean girlfriend and marry a Korean girl. Now that goal has to be pushed back, since I am single right now and will not be bringing back a girl to USA/Canada obviously. One of the best things about Korea, is the beautiful slim sweet and polite women here that seem to be everywhere. I’ve talked about how Korea is very unique in the sense that the *average* girl is so beautiful and caring here. Usually those kinds of girls exist in very small quantities in other countries, but in Korea the majority of girls are like that.

So when I go back to USA/Canada, my main concern is how do I find the right Korean girl abroad? There’s obviously not as many Korean girls abroad as in Korea, and the existing Korean girls there (especially in California) are going to be harder to get due to them having more options. They can choose between Korean guys, Korean-American guys and American guys. Why would they go for me? But I keep telling myself my personality changed a bit since before, I am less shy, more confident, my style is better (my friends tell me), and I know more about Korean culture and Korean language, so in theory I should have an advantage still even if I go back. But I am still hesitant and unsure about this.

One of the reasons is that next year is 2017. Now for some reason, I’ve always had worse luck in odd numbered years than even numbered years. And I’m not quite sure why that is. Let me recap my years since 2000:

2000: I was in sixth grade, and an overall really good year as I remember, since I had a good teacher, good grades, and the girl that I had a crush on acknowledged me multiple times that year.

2001: seventh grade, I struggled the most I ever had in elementary school because I had problems with math, specifically fractions as I recall. That was the only time me and my parents were really worried about my grades in elementary/high school.

2002: A good year. Eight grade I actually got to dance with my crush(!) at the school dance, and overall I have fond memories of my last year in elementary school. My teacher was really cool and I remember end of year we had a party at my crush’s house!

2003: Ninth grade. Nothing too special happened this year, and I don’t remember anything too exciting happening to me that year. It was overall a so-so year. I remember getting my first job as a dishwasher at a local restaurant. My love for chicken wings started then.

2004: Tenth grade. I tried out for the football team and made it (my friend convinced me). And my popularity went up a lot because of that. A lot of girls knew me throughout the school because of my presence on the football team. Also the time I began programming websites.

2005: Eleventh grade. I remember starting my interest in guitar and playing guitar at the coffee house this year but I also remember being rejected by a lot of girls I was interested in that year. I remember being forced to take summer physics and chemistry classes by my mom because she thought it was necessary for computer science in university. I told my mom it had nothing to do with computer science but she wouldn’t listen because apparently in China, they had to take chemistry and physics, so that means in Canada I had to take them as well. Typical Chinese mom logic. That summer I also worked as a cashier for a local convenience store. I remember my love of snack sausages starting then.

2006: 12th grade. My last year of high school was pretty memorable. My guitar skills continually went up, and I played some gigs in Barrie and Toronto. I had graduation parties at my friend’s houses and in particular one Japanese friend I made who I would meet 10 years later in Japan this year (amazing right). The first time I drank a lot of alcohol and nearly died from alcohol poisoning (I blacked out and woke up at my friends house). Also my first year at University of Toronto where I made a lot of friends in my CS program, made friends at Frosh Week, worked at the CNE as a screen door demonstrator often making fun of all the ridiculous people that walked by. I lived in the university residence that year and met a cool Korean roommate who introduced me to Korean church. Overall it was a very memorable year.

2007: My first/second year of university I remember being insanely difficult, and my lowest grades I ever got in university came in second year. Not only that but, one of my female friends in university started ignoring me (I still dont know the original reason why) and I was really frustrated by it and my schoolwork was ultimately affected by it since I constantly saw her. She was a total bitch now that I look back on it, but back then I was too innocent and it deeply affected my personality as I used to care how other people thought about me and now I don’t.

2008: My second/third year of university was also difficult, though not to the same degree as in 2007. I started studying more and more. I met one of my best friends in university that year (a chinese girl in my economics class). I started playing piano more and often did so with her. I started investing in stocks that year. I remember changing my focus to economics and business and not just computer science.

2009: my third/fourth year of university was a bit easier. I took different courses, and thankfully got my co-op internship at the Canadian government that year and met a lot of cool people. This year and the next were technically a break from school as I didn’t take many courses while I worked. I bought my first car that year. It was my first job and I started becoming more conservative because I realized how much I got taxed. I took public speaking at Toastmasters. I remember being too shy to talk to girls still. And I got rejected by the Commerce program forcing me to change to just an Economics major. Took a trip to Cuba with my family that year which was nice.

2010: Still working at the internship, but it was overall better year than 2009. I started to hang out more with co-op students, met many friends, went to lots of house parties. I made my first girlfriend that year, a Chinese-Canadian girl and had my first kiss. I remember putting on an mp3 CD in my car, and driving with the sunroof down in the hot Canadian summer. I remember going to a Chinese temple with a cute girl and listening to Beethoven in the car with her. I started to open up more that year. Joined AIESEC and was the website manager for the Toronto branch. Overall 2010 was a memorable year.

2011: Probably the best odd-numbered year I ever had. I finally graduated university, and thankfully I found a job in the place I wanted, in San Francisco/Silicon Valley, California. That was my biggest accomplishment to date. I went to San Francisco first to go to a technology conference and fell in love with the city. And fortunately I was able to live there now. I made one of my best American friends there at that first company, Switchfly Inc (Chinese-American). That year I also got interested in Korean culture, and Korean language and made my first Korean friends (some of which I still contact to this day). 2011 was the year that made it possible for me to live in the USA, so it was unforgettable. I also took a trip to China for 2 weeks before I came back to Canada which was also a great experience.

2012: Probably still the best year of my life. I met alot of good friends at language exchange meetups, many of them Korean. I hung out with them alot, drank alot. Work was not that stressful. I would hang out with my Chinese-American friend after work and play games alot. I traveled everywhere in California, like Yosemite, Monterey, Lake Tahoe, Napa, San Diego, LA, Vegas, Grand Canyon, etc. I made my first Korean girlfriend that year, and I still remember her today. I also lost my virginity that year. I came in third in a startup competition. My brother and parents came for a visit (at different times) and I was able to fly a plane with my parents over San Francisco. My parents helped me find my SF apartment and loan me some money to purchase it late that year. I bought my scooter that year. I spent the new years with a Korean girl in San Diego. This year was really impactful on my life overall and really memorable to me.

2013: Not so good a year. Didn’t have any girlfriends that year. Work was just so-so though I changed jobs that year. I remember being rejected by a lot of girls that year, and a Korean girl standing me up in Vancouver. I lost lots of money in stocks that year and parking tickets. I went to lots of clubs and house parties but only met a handful of really good friends that year. On the plus side – I had lots of house parties, I went to Korea for the first time, which is still a really memorable experience, and had a lot of fun. My parents, brother and cousins came to visit me, and we took a roadtrip through California, Vegas, Grand Canyon together which was all really great. So this year had a lot of plus and minuses.

2014: Overall a year with more pluses I think. I found a really cool friend to hang out with in California at the beginning of the year, and we went to lots of places together including LA, and many house parties at his place and mine. Went to Korea for the 2nd time, which was great as well. Finally found a remote job I could work from anywhere, which allowed me to travel to Korea ultimately. Did Couchsurfing, hosted alot of people from different places (Poland, Texas, Korea, China, Russia) at my house. I met my second Korean girlfriend that year. Spent Christmas with a cute Korean girl by my side. It was ultimately a better year than 2013.

2015: Last year was mostly negative. I don’t want to say it was a wasted year but, most of the people I met in Korea that year, I didn’t keep in contact with except for a select few. I went to lots of clubs, lots of meetups, had lots of drinking nights in Korea – and unfortunately most of the people I spent that time with I don’t keep in contact with anymore. Thats Korean life I suppose – but its also kind of sad. On the plus side, I traveled to Eastern Europe and had a really good time there and met cool people there. But overall I don’t rate last year that highly. I didn’t find a good girl until towards the end of last year and that only ended in breakup anyways.

2016: So far, its been a okay year. I lost lots of money through betting. I focused more on my work this year. But I did lasik surgery and changed my style a bit, and that seems to have helped me a lot this year with meeting good girls. I dated multiple Korean girls this year, and it was a good experience. Traveled to Japan and Taiwan this year. I began to get tired of Korean life this year, but I felt that I really matured a lot this year, especially with relationships.

So overall, I rate my even number years a lot higher than my odd number years, (with 2011 being the exception). My years in San Francisco (2011-2014) I consider to be the best years of my life, and so I am somewhat excited about going back, but nervous about meeting a good Korean girl there. If you noticed, all the odd number years of my life, I never had a girlfriend. So hopefully I can break that curse next year!!

Categories
General

Guide to dating women in South Korea

After almost 2 years of living in Seoul, and going to lots of clubs/parties/online websites, I have accumulated enough experience to give a general guide on dating Korean women. Yes I know, I’m not exactly a playboy, but I’ve seen enough guys dating girls here and know enough about Korean culture to give my 2 cents on this, and I know that some foreigner guys come to Korea exclusively to find women here, so here it is.

HOW TO MEET A KOREAN GIRL:
-I am Chinese Canadian, so dating in Korea is a little bit more difficult for me than for white people. As with any other Asian country, White people have the most advantage due to Hollywood/America etc all that stuff that Asian women like. Like other Asian women, Korean girls think that every guy in America looks like Chris Evans and has alot of money. So if you are white, then definitely you have the most advantage.
-That said, out of all Asian girls, Korean girls are also the hardest to get for a foreigner. Why is this? Because its a small country. Koreans have a culture where they support each other, very family oriented etc which means that a number of girls strictly only date with Korean guys. This is not a majority of girls though, as a sizeable amount are open to dating with foreigners.
-The BEST way to date a Korean girl is to get introduced. The culture here emphasizes blind dating. So if you know a Korean friend, he/she can introduce you, thats the best way. Otherwise you will have to use online meetup websites, or language exchange sites, or applications like HelloTalk or MEEP to get to know a girl. This is more difficult to get to know them because Korean girls are super flaky and a lot of them don’t trust meeting guys online. Out of the language sites and apps I used, only about 30-40% responded to me, and out of that response rate, maybe a third was willing to meet up while the other girls were Kakao chats only.
-Speaking of Kakao, that is the WeChat of Korea, the QQ of Korea, if you will. Absolutely if you want to contact a girl, be sure to download the KakaoTalk application and sign up, since every Korean girl uses that app to communicate.
-One night stand is fairly common especially in the areas of Seoul known for good nightlife like Hongdae or Itaewon. If you are white especially, just go to any club, be sure to have a wingman, and try talking up some girls and knowing a bit of Korean doesn’t hurt either. You should always be the one to talk though, Korean girls aren’t known for being loud or very talkative.
-Most young Korean girls can speak English alright, but not fluently. You should learn some basic Korean if you want to communicate with a girl effectively, but there are lots of girls in Hongdae/Itaewon who know English pretty well too, so if you go to those areas you might be ok.
-Do NOT make sexual jokes with a Korean girl or ask her over to your place unless you know them very well or if its a sleazy type of girl you met at a club. Most Korean girls will not go to a guys place the first time you meet them. They want to take time to get to know you first before they can come over.
-Lots of Korean girls go to church, how devoted they are depends on the girl, but church is always a good way to meet people, if your Korean is good enough to understand what they are saying.
-If you are brave enough, approaching a girl in a public area to ask for her number is actually done by many guys and is called “hunting”. Depends on the time and place, but it may work out, especially if you are white.
-Attracting a Korean girl is much like attracting any woman and the laws of picking up apply equally no matter where you are in the world – women are attracted to men who are funny, outgoing, can relate to them, listen to them, share similar interests, etc. Thus for playboys who have success in America or Europe, in Korea and other parts of Asia its not too big of a leap. For introverted guys like me, its much more difficult and takes more time. But thats the way things are in life.

HOW TO DATE A KOREAN GIRL:

-A relationship with a Korean girl is a give a lot – get a lot type of relationship. You have to text/call her a lot, so Korean girls are definitely high maintenance. I’d say like 50-60 texts a day especially if the girl is young. What you get in return is a girl who really does care about you and very sweet and loving, in my opinion. They do little things for you like help you put on your coat, buy gifts for you, do cute things with you etc they can be very sweet if you put in the time for them.
-Usually on a date, the guy is expected to pay for the main meal, and the girl usually pays for coffee/tea later. One side doesn’t pay for everything.
-You are expected to remember the major couple days in Korea, and there is a lot, in addition to bday/anniversary there is valentines day (2/14) where the girl gets the guy a gift and white day (3/14) where the guy gets the girl a gift. Pretty much very month has some of kind of couple day like Rose day or Peppero day (a Pocky-like snack) so be aware of these days.
-Also be sure to show off your romance with lots of couple pictures and wearing couple outfits and things like that (this especially applies if you are dating a young girl in her early 20s). Koreans love to show off how much they care for each other.
-Korean girls can be very jealous, and some girls might even ask you not to meet any of your female friends. This is normal in Korea, where relationships tend to be very exclusive, and time for meeting other people are restricted if you are in a relationship. This is in accordance with the give a lot / get a lot thing. This is also why Korea has a very high proportion of couples that you see in public compared to other countries.
-Don’t be messy. Make sure if you invite a Korean girl over to your place, everything is super clean and tidy. That’s what they expect.
-They prefer the man to make the decisions for them. So when you set up a date, be sure to decide on the places to go, schedule, etc they will be expecting you to. They are very feminine and so they prefer guys to take the initiative.

WHY A KOREAN GIRL OVER OTHER ASIAN GIRLS:
-Korean girls are known as amongst the most beautiful women in the world, at least superficially, and they are probably the most self-conscious insecure women in Asia. Almost every girl wears makeup all the time, and dresses up like its clubbing attire all the time. Short skirts, high heels, transparent stockings (yes even in winter) are pretty normal wear for Korean women. You will probably find them the most feminine out of all Asian women. They all like to have pale skin, red lips and perfect straight white teeth (unlike Japanese girls). A lot of people try to put down Korean girls thinking they have so called ‘fake’ beauty but don’t listen to them, just because they put on makeup all the time or care about their appearance a lot doesn’t mean they were ugly before. Its just a part of their manners and culture.
-Yes alot of girls get plastic surgery but to be fair, 80% of the time, this is for getting double eyelids to make their eyes look bigger. This is why you will see more Korean girls with bigger eyes than Korean guys. If you have a problem with girls wearing a lot of makeup or having surgery on her face, then Korean girls are probably not for you (You should probably try Chinese girls instead).
-As I said, if you put time into the relationship, they can be very very sweet and loving women, and very devoted. I can’t compare with other Asian girls much, but definitely they put alot of effort into the relationship.
-No expectation for the guy to cook or do housework, since most Korean men can’t. But its always a plus if you can!
-For marriage, guy buys the house, but girl will buy the furniture, girl’s family will pay for wedding, and chuseok/new year’s preparations are almost solely done by the women.
-Great fashion sense, and you’ll also notice 90% of Korean girls don’t wear glasses, preferring contacts or lasik surgery instead. Also, no dowry like in China/India.
-Korean women shave every part of their body except ‘down under’, but some do if you ask them to.
-Most Korean girls are very polite and nice to people, but also very shy at first glance. You have to get them to open up.

DOWNSIDES
-Korean girls can be very very superficial and shallow sometimes. They care alot about fashion, style, appearance, hygiene. They don’t like facial hair. So go for a clean cut appearance, no glasses, blazer, collar shirt, khakis etc are all good. No baggy stuff, tattoos, messy hair, beards, bling etc they hate that.
-Guys who are tall and fit and muscular definitely have an advantage over other guys.
-They are high maintenance. You have to put a lot of time into them, and spend a lot of time with them. This is why you always see couples everywhere in Korea. They are very dependent on guys. So you can’t be ignoring them or spending time with other people as often.
-Again, the extreme jealousy part… Korean girls can get pretty crazy if they find you with another girl talking or texting. Be wary of these things.
-Yes some girls are gold diggers, but this can be said for any girl in the world, so take caution with that.
-More so than any other Asian race, Korean women are loyal to their race and because of their conservative culture, a fair amount only stick to Korean guys. So just be aware there’s a sizeable portion that you just can’t get as a foreigner.
-The hottest girls (10s) don’t speak English at all. Which makes them pretty much Korean men material only. You can try but… unless you are a celebrity it will be very difficult.

All in all, Korean women IMO are the hottest girls in Asia, surgery or not. Their mind is in between Chinese women and Japanese women, which means they aren’t totally blunt but not totally hiding their emotions either. If you like a girl who cares about her appearance, and are willing to put in the time and effort you will be rewarded, so check out South Korea if you have the chance. Hope this post helps you guys.

Categories
General Music

Why I hate the Hangover part 2

Today is going to be another one of those days where I hate on Hollywood for making horrible movies. And the Hangover part 2 is one of them. Why do I hate it? Here are the reasons (contains spoilers):

1) It’s not funny

Why is this guy such a douche bag?
Why is this guy such a douche bag?

If the Hangover was supposed to be a comedy movie, then why isn’t it funny? Is it funny to cut off someone’s finger? Is it funny to put a bunch of random animals together in one scene? Is it funny to be shot by Russians? What about Alan? Why does he have to be such a dickhead in the movie? And having sex with a transgender is funny? This is just one of those movies which has pure stupidity and 12 year old humor in it. It’s not worth your time.

2) Racial stereotyping of Asians

Is this guy representative of Asian males?
Is this guy representative of Asian males?

One of the things that really offends me about this movie is that it has an obnoxious effeminate Asian guy in it, playing somewhat of a role. He was in the original Hangover too. Who does this character appeal to? White college kids? Who at Warner Bros decided to put an ugly obnoxious Asian guy with a heavy accent in there? Is that supposed to be funny? I mean, god forbid Hollywood actually decide to cast a handsome Asian guy with no accent, because according to them, they don’t exist. And what about the Asian girl in the movie? The one that Stu (the main character who is coincidentally white) is marrying? How come she is good looking and has no accent? Hmm so yeah, lets have double standards for Asian guys and Asian girls in a film… what a joke.

3) It’s unrealistic

Do you want this guy to marry your daughter?
Do you want this guy to marry your daughter?

Yeah, so the plot involves the ‘wolf pack’ going around Bangkok trying to find Stu’s wife’s lost brother Teddy. When they finally find him, his finger has been cut off (thanks to the gang), and Stu and the rest of the gang ‘borrow’ a boat to crash into the island where Stu’s family is staying. However despite all that, and her family not liking Stu, after one crap line about how he loves her, all is forgiven, and he is allowed to marry his wife with good blessings. How stupid is that? Is it realistic that after all the trouble Stu and his friends have caused, including causing Teddy’s finger to be cut off, that her traditional Asian parents will allow Stu to marry her without saying anything? What a bunch of BS. And not to mention, even on the drunkest of nights you wouldn’t do what these guys did. Its not even possible to do all that in the span of one night. Another reason why you shouldn’t take this film seriously.

So that’s why I hate the Hangover part 2. One of the worst movies ever (it represents everything wrong with Hollywood), and I hate the fact that it made a lot of money. Maybe that’s why Warner Bros keeps making them. Maybe stupidity, Asian stereotypes and unrealistic plot makes for a good draw at the box office. Oh Bruce Lee, if only you knew that 40 years later, Asian stereotypes have only gotten worse.

In other news, I had my cell phone stolen last weekend. I was getting on the bus in Japan town and this black dude comes out of nowhere, takes my phone out of my front pocket and takes off. I was too surprised to react much. Definitely a shock to me. Good thing he didn’t erase my data (my phone auto logs in). Now I’m without a phone, and AT&T is going to charge me $500 for termination of contract + new phone + new 2 year contract. Geez. And iPhone 4S vs Samsung Galaxy S2? Hmm not sure yet, but if I’m going to get a tablet someday, I want my phone and my tablet to have different OS. So either Galaxy S2 + iPad or iPhone + Galaxy Tab. I don’t know yet. But I do want to develop some Android apps for tablet (given there aren’t that many Android tablet apps yet).

I also recorded a jam of New Deep a few days ago. I used a Boss RC-2 Looper and created my own backing music, and then added some drum beats in, and improvised on top of that. Enjoy.