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Humor School/Work

People at the CNE disgust me.

Seriously, what is with people these days? I am a screen door demonstator and here are some of the questions that I am asked. “Can I open it with my foot?” “If I stand behind it, will I be invisible?” “Is the lock on the outside or inside?”.
Seriously, think before you act people, can you really be that dense? Admist all the retards and the buffoons, I have to put up with the salesmen in front of our booth. They have an all-star roster of deranged and psychotic people that just disgust me.
Specimen one: We call him the weasel. He puts about 60 tons of grease in his hair everyday, looks weird and is just plain psycho. His conversations include everything from throwing a pencil at our booth to braggin about his ‘pornstar’ bipolar girlfriend.
Specimen two: We call him the british imperialist. He is incredibly old, incredibly chubby and incredibly racist. enough said.
Specimen three: A guy with a broken nose and a huge beard that constantly hits on women 30 years younger than him. Creep.
Specimen four: The most recent one, this guy is just monstrously gigantic, has a huuuugeee gut and sits and waddles all day. Me and dagomar made a sketch of him today and I’d say its pretty accurate.
There are more specimens but you get my drift. Even more incredible, the CNE boasts more freaks than the circus. Here are some of the people I found walking around.
-Tattoo man, who is covered in tatoos. Another man who has a giant tattoo on his forehead, I’m sure people avoid looking at him.
-Chipmunk man, a man who acts like a rat and has huge buckteeth sticking out from him
-Raggity ann we call her, somebody who seems to have been hit by the ugly stick at least 50 times and somehow survived.
-A woman who has no neck at all. Another woman who has half a leg, and it was just plain hilarious to see her walk around.
-Obese people. Now I know that canada has alot of obese people but I’m pretty sure at least half of them end up here. the worst was the man who actually could not walk because his fat went below his knees and needed a cart to move around. I mean the guy looked like a small planet! I kid you not, how he manages to breathe and go to the bathroom is nothing short of a miracle.

So guys, I encourage you all to go to the CNE next year to check out some of the most freakiest people on earth. free of charge. Also remember to get some free razors. To others who work here: Don’t you feel special? =)