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How mathematicians solve relationship problems

Look, we both said some things that were false…you called me a jerk, I said that you were irrational. But all of that was before t=0. I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and I arrived at an important conjecture. You are a very meaningful factor to me…from the moment I discovered your existence, I knew that our relation was real, even though I thought you were in my imagination when I saw those i’s. It was a sine, and now you have become an integral part of my existence. I don’t know what would happen if we divided….I’d be half the man I am today. I know I can be square at times, but you really complete me…

I mean, the integral of e^x is always great and everything, and everytime I see you I just wanna bisect those legs and be really naughty…like, like divide by zero or something. But we have to remember that it’s only a trivial solution, and we have to calculate further to find the root and determinant of our initial value problem before we no longer function and everything becomes chaotic. Lets not make it get to the point where I become your x, and log(100) years later, we’re asking ourselves “y”? let us forget about these extra variables…we are in our prime. Let’s move on with our existence, multiply, have log(100) products, sum together, and call it even.

MATH LOVE STORY:

They integrated from the very point of origin. Her curves were continuous, and even though he was odd, he was a real number. They both wanted to get skewed. The day their lines first intersected, they became an ordered pair. From then on, it was a continuous function. They were both in their prime, so in next to no time they were horizontal and parallel. She was awed by the magnitude of his perpendicular line, and he was amazed by her conical projections.

“Bisect my angle!” she postulated each time she reached her local maximum. They had many simultaneous solutions. He taught her the chain rule as she implicitly defined the amplitude of his simple harmonic motion. They underwent multiple rotations of their axes, until at last they reached the vertex, the critical point, their finite limit.

After that they slept like logs. Later she found him taking a right-handed limit, and that was a problem. It was improper form. He meanwhile had realized that she was irrational, not to mention square. It seemed as though she was from another dimension. Things just weren’t adding up, so they diverged. That was a real plus because he needed to get her out of his domain.

She’s currently reaching the limit in a relationship that is somewhat undefined. He is currently unable to afford dating because he did a cosine on a loan for his son, Ray.