One thing I wish I had more is charisma. It’s something that I’ve lacked all my life, and something I wish I could improve on.

What is charisma? It’s the kind of charm that makes people want to be with you. You’ll know who these people are right away. They’re the ones you’re really comfortable talking to, the ones you open up to, and I really envy those people.

I always think “what can I do to make people more willing to talk to me? ” Maybe I need something to offer them. If I have connections then people will want to associate with me right? How come I have 500 friends on facebook yet only a few ever comments on my statuses yet other people have like 10 people comment on their statuses despite having fewer friends? How come people so rarely call me or message me? How can I be the person that people come up to at a party? These are the kind of insecure thoughts that plague me at times.

Then I reassure myself. I do have unique qualities to offer people. I’m honest, I feel lying makes the situation worse and I often speak my mind openly. I’m reliable, I stay true to my short term (!) commitments. I’m punctual, I’m always early or on time. I’m efficient, I get things done quite quickly. So why don’t people want to associate with me? Because my flaws outweigh my strengths? Because I’m not charismatic? I wish I could read peoples minds to see what they really feel about me.

Can charisma be learned ? Debatable. Some people think that it is natural born, others think it can. JFK once said in an interview that he was an introvert, which was surprising to me. Perhaps alot of people such as Bill Clinton or Winston Churchill actually became charismatic over time. But although I’ve joined many organizations designed to improve leadership skills, such as Toastmasters and AIESEC, I still find myself lacking and still a loner, no matter how hard I try, and I think other people see this, and automatically avoid me at socials.

Maybe there is some way to gain charisma, but I haven’t discovered yet, though I have to say that I’ve improved a lot since first year, where I was afraid of everyone from pretty girls to corporate businessmen, and now I can approach most people with a sense of confidence. Maybe over time I can continue to improve.