Time for an update again.
First off, the NBA Finals where the Golden State Warriors beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 4 games to 2. Lebron James was definitely the MVP of this series, he averaged 37/13/9 this series and still lost because he had no supporting cast, yet people are just gonna look at it as ‘oh Lebron lost again he’s now 2-4 in the Finals so he sucks more than Jordan/Kobe’ (btw why don’t people talk more about John Havlicek who was 8-0 in the finals??). Which is too bad, I feel sorry for Lebron, he just didn’t have good teams, in 2007 had a crap squad, 2014 injured D-wade, now 2015 no K-love or Irving.
Many people know that I’m not a Kobe lover, so I just get a bit peeved whenever people say Kobe is better, because the only thing he has over Lebron is rings, everything else awards/stats Lebron trounces Kobe. And those 5 rings Kobe played with a good team, a prime Shaq for the first 3, and Gasol/Bynum/Odom/Fisher/Artest for the other 2, those are all good teams. If Lebron played with those teams he would get more rings than Kobe for sure.
And Lebron is more clutch, despite what people may say. Check these articles out.
A career 28/9/7 playoffs player isn’t clutch? Gimme a break.
Second off, the E3 conference this year was amazing. Doom 4, which looks similar to the old school Quake, is coming soon. Fallout 4, which I’m super-excited for because Fallout 3/New Vegas were some of my favorite games of all time. Just Cause 3 and Deus Ex Mankind Divided for the same reasons. Last Guardian, Shenmue 3 and FFVII Remake were all nice surprises, as all three fans have been clamoring for years. Star Wars Battlefront, another remake of a beloved series, and hey why not new Star Fox and Zelda games as well, as well as Super Mario creator. New Halo games, Gears of War, Minecraft Hololens edition, Assassins Creed, Kingdom Hearts 3, etc so many great games came out from this years E3. So excited.
Alright, and finally a personal topic. A couple months ago I was very depressed about not being able to get a girlfriend. Now, even though I still don’t have a girlfriend, I’m not as depressed anymore. Why? Because I’m not as frustrated anymore. Now, I’ve been in Korea for over half a year now, and many people thought that my obsession with finding a Korean girlfriend was a temporary obsession, but as in the case of most of my goals, I like to think there’s a reason for everything, and even bad luck that occurs often enough isn’t really bad luck. So I really tried to analyze and break things down into pieces to help achieve my goals.
Firstly, even after 6 months in Korea, I still have the same high respect for Korean girls as before and still think they’re the most perfect women for me. That hasn’t changed. They are incredibly beautiful both on the outside and inside. I even have a higher appreciation for them than before after observing them for so long. Not only do they have a great sense of fashion and care alot about their appearance, but they have a great personality too. They are really kind and sweet to their boyfriends, and to strangers. Every time I met a Korean girl for coffee or even dinner she paid for me even after I offered to pay for her. They’ve offered to guide me, show me around, help me out with something, they are just really polite and nice people. I haven’t met a ‘bad girl’ yet.
Furthermore, they do lots of things for their boyfriend like buy them chocolates, help them put on their clothes, help clean them, and do really cute things like cover their mouth when they laugh, take couple pictures and hold on to them lovingly on the street, putting their head on their bf’s shoulders when they are tired, etc.
They don’t seem to care about their bf’s appearance or money judging from the large numbers of beautiful women with not so handsome guys who live at home with their parents.
They are very loyal, some of them wait 2 years(!) for their boyfriend to finish the military service.
And in addition, (traditionally) they do the cooking, housework, taking care of baby after they marry. So whatever. They’re perfect. Can’t get much better than a beautiful, sweet kind girl who makes me dinner after I come home.
I’ve had very little relationship experience. Mainly because during high school, I didn’t find (and still don’t find) western girl’s personalities very compatible with me. During university, no time to date, always studying, and was in a major that didn’t have many girls (computer science). During my time working in San Francisco, I’ve been pretty stubbornly loyal to Korean women, and basically dismissed all other girls, and that’s why I’ve been single for 3 years, and have so little experience.
I’ve tried to understand why for all my appreciation given to them, I’ve gotten so little back from them. During my time in SF, I’ve had no less than 4 cases where a Korean girl basically shafted me (usually for a Korean guy).
-Helped a girl with her work letters alot (I mean pages and pages worth) and helped secure her an internship in SF. She later dated a Korean guy in SF and cut off contact with me.
-Went to San Diego with a girl, and helped her find an internship in Bay Area. She later dated a Korean guy and cut off contact with me.
-Talked with a girl online everyday and even went to Vancouver just to see her. She got angry at me for a misunderstanding while I was there, I couldn’t meet her, and she cut off contact with me.
-Helped a Korean girl stay longer in SF by letting her stay at my place for a week and letting her use my bed while I slept on the sofa. She went back to Korea later, started dating a Korean guy and cut off contact with me.
See the trend here? I’ve tried to figure out why Korean girls seem to just dismiss me as just a friend and nothing more. After I read this pickup artist book, I’ve begun to understand a bit more about why. No, it hasn’t helped my “game”, but its definitely helped me understand. I have some American friends in Korea, and they seem to have no trouble at all getting women, even though one of my friends has seemingly no talent, no stable job, complains all the time, and not that great looking, not that great at Korean, yet he manages to get a different girl to sleep over at his place every week. I wondered how that was possible, considering how I was so nice to them yet wasn’t even able to get any girl to even come over to my place at all. I wondered why I saw way more Korean men and Chinese girl pairings than Chinese men and Korean girl pairings, despite the fact that Chinese men usually do housework and cooking, and are raised to be nice to girls, you would think Korean women would appreciate that more. (And yes I am kind of tired of people saying ‘why don’t you go for another girl’ that’s like saying that I can’t get Korean women because I’m not good enough and I should go for a lesser woman. No thanks.)
But now I realize the reason for me is mainly because 1) I’m too “soft”, 2) I’ve had very little relationship experience, and 3) I’m not very emotional. The second one is a catch 22. The less experience you have, the harder it is to get a girlfriend. The less girlfriends you have, the harder it is to get experience.
The other two I realized after I read that book. Most women in the world prefer strong guys who are able to make decisions well, handle affairs, have social ‘power’ and are able to be tough in most situations while being emotional in certain other situations. Women connect emotionally, and unfortunately I usually display very little emotion when I’m talking to people. I am a funny person, though I’m not outwardly funny. My jokes tend to center on the very random, or the very inside / wordplay kind. Neither of which connects with Korean ladies.
In addition, being raised as a Chinese guy, we are usually raised to be too nice to girls, basically as a doormat. Chinese women are traditionally very strong, (I have no idea why they are so strong and Korean/Japanese women are not), and my parents are no exception. My mother, grandmother and aunt are all very strong and take control over my dad/grandfather/uncle. I don’t like women who are too strong, and thats one reason Chinese women are not compatible with me (among various other reasons). But yes, I was raised to be soft, and this is primarily why Chinese men can’t get Korean girls; because ultimately Korean girls like strong men, Korean guys are more aggressive and Chinese guys are just too weak.
This is also the reason why my friend seems to be able to get girls to like him on the strength of his talking and social skill alone, without any other factor like stable job, good korean ability, etc. He can connect emotionally and make decisions well. I can’t.
But this part of me is hard to change. Personality is hard to change. The way to connect is to be more social, connect emotionally, be comfortable, and yet display some intention of attraction. I’ve been either too comfortable with women without displaying any intent (this leads to alot of “friends” but no gf), or displaying attraction too fast without making any emotional connection (this leads to alot of ignored messages). And yes I have too many female Facebook friends. The reason is because I have to meet girls continuously to meet the right girl I want. And some of them ask for my Facebook, and I feel bad if I defriend them after. But other girls see this and think I’m some player or playboy or something. Anyways, its hard to meet the right person and make connections in Korea when all the meetups I go to, you only meet someone once and its hard to keep in touch with them after, even if I get their facebook or kakao id.
Yup, made lots of gaming videos these days. Check them out!